Love is abstract, complex, beautiful, and even painful. Both tangible and intangible, love possesses a language.
Each person expresses love in their own unique way. Successful and healthy romantic relationships thrive on mutual understanding of their love. This isn’t an easy climb, as love is abstract and so are people. However, knowledge has offered the power of reading others. Perceptions of commonalities among transactional love languages have surfaced over the course of humanity’s existence.
Love languages are fluent as people evolve and may vary in different relationships. Romantically speaking, an individual speaks and receives love differently. Identifying your personal love language is a part of the process as well as your partner. Adapted love languages are influenced by the environment, what one lacked or what one gained through childhood or previous relationships.
What are the 5 love languages?
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
1. Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation, similar to how it sounds, are verbal responses. For example, one would tell a partner “I love you”, “I am proud of you”, “I am listening and validating what you are saying”, or “I appreciate what you do for me”. Recognition and yes affirming this person speaks to their need for feeling appreciated through direct words. Encourage a partner with a text, phone call, notes, or a social media post.
2. Physical Touch
A nonverbal representation of love, this embodies tangible intimacy. Physical touch is about warmth and closeness to another person. It does not consist of only sex. A graze of a hand, a hug, a forehead kiss, a squeeze of the shoulder, and so many others. This provides comfort to a partner, a reminder that you are there. Presence holds a gravitational pull between beings.
3. Receiving Gifts
Receiving gifts reveals to be obvious and yet still complex. Materialistic values play a role, but it is a reminder of that person. A tangible object that reminds an individual that they are cared for. There is a uniqueness in a gift. A contemplation of what the other person would like stands out. Gifts are personal and embody a character. Due to love’s unfathomable traits, the language of gifts makes a partner feel grounded.
4. Quality Time
Quality time is about time spent one-on-one. uninterrupted time doing activities that both of you enjoy. Putting away the phone. Tuning out the distractions. Being present is what it’s about. Trips together, taking walks, making dinner, watching a movie, and whatever the relationship calls for. The intimacy that time provides shows that one loves.
5. Acts of Service
Service, doing things for others. A subtle way of providing love. Examples of this would be making them dinner, helping them with tasks, getting their car washed, pumping their gas, fixing something that was broken, and again the list goes on. The point here is, your partner didn’t have to ask. These non-verbal behaviors show appreciation and attentiveness.
What do love languages tell us?
Love is a feeling. The languages of love express this feeling. Knowing yourself is one thing and knowing how you receive love. Knowing your partner is another. Humans are full of feelings you can’t necessarily grasp and yet that is the beauty of it all. This tells us that each language is essential but one may gravitate towards one, two, or all. A partner can receive one, two, or all. Yes, it is complex just like love.
How do I know my love language and my partners?
Awareness, perception, and mindfulness are how one knows. Take time to self-reflect and ask your partner what they need to feel loved. Openness and communication about how you need to be loved, how you show your love, as well as your partners. Taking time to be patient in the relationship is essential.
The point of the love languages
It’s healthy and normal to be confused about intentions or needs. Every individual is different and so is a couple’s love. Love is fragile, the languages help us take care of it.
