I often find myself falling short of my goals. Lately, I’ve gotten on another self-improvement kick, and this is how I’m getting it to stick.
Self-improvement seems never to land; the conviction to change anything leaves as quickly as it came. Social media has a lot of advice and projections on the image of perfect lives, but none of it seems fully grounded in reality.
I’d get inspired by seeing people’s neat and seemingly put-together lives on the internet. I might try some suggestions and probably end up buying a few things, like a new journal.
But it was problematic for me to attempt to recreate another person’s life, which wasn’t even the full picture. I just wanted what it looked like they had, without realizing until recently that self-improvement is not a copy-and-paste sort of journey.
Where I Started
A few months ago, I began amidst a lot of mess. My apartment had dishes stacked up in the kitchen, laundry, and random stuff everywhere.
I felt overwhelmed a lot of the time by my job, schoolwork, and all the other things I had to do.
At the time, I was really deep into the aesthetic side of TikTok and decided to start making my apartment feel more like home with a few small additions and changes. I got some new bedsheets and a few things off Facebook Marketplace. But I found that the mess of it all was harshing my new vibe.
I then decided to start taking better care of my apartment. My previous strategy had been to allow mess to build up and eventually have to spend an entire day cleaning my apartment once a week. I found I needed to change.
I wasn’t paying attention to any suggestions on the internet about what I had to do. Some sources will tell you to “read more” or “start a gratitude practice.” If you want to do those things, by all means, do them, but it’s important to decide for yourself what YOU actually think you want to accomplish.
So I simply started there, with the goal of a well-kept apartment.
Start Small
If you set too many goals at once, you’ll likely become overwhelmed and end up doing none of them.
I started with the goal of doing the dishes every night, making my bed every morning, and cleaning the whole apartment once a week. Over time, I added other goals.
Because I didn’t begin with the vague goal of “Self-Improvement” with a laundry list of things I had to change, it felt manageable. Starting small helped me to build momentum. Before I knew it, I realized that I was on that journey.
I wanted to start reading more from my TBR and taking better care of my skin. I started small and worked my way up once I became comfortable with accomplishing the daily goals I’d set for myself from the beginning.
This method was really effective for me. I was able to set my own pace and, most importantly, keep to my personal goals. Unlike previous attempts I’d made at changing things, I felt able to achieve what I set out to do.
Rather than starting with a huge to-do list of tasks, I started with a few small ones. As I was able to do these things, I felt proud and accomplished. Eventually, these things became integrated into my routine, and I was ready to add a few more.
A Note on Consistency
A lot of people might tell you that consistency is being perfectly consistent to achieve your goals, but that isn’t true. “The reason many people fail to keep up with their New Year’s resolutions is because they give up after making one mistake.” As long as you aren’t completely giving up, then you’re still working towards your goals.
The most important thing is to be kind to yourself. If you feel super tired one day and you just don’t have the energy to pick up a book, that’s ok. For whatever reason, it is ok to skip a day here and there. Success relies on allowing oneself to make mistakes. Intense discipline will make the journey feel tiring and overwhelming, and you’ll be more likely to quit.
There have been a few days here and there when I was running late for class and didn’t have time to make the bed as soon as I got up. Then, I gave myself grace and was able to do it when I got home. There were certainly times when I couldn’t complete all the goals on my to-do list, but instead of being upset about the items I couldn’t tick off that day, I was happy about the ones that I could.
Celebrating each success, no matter how small, helps build confidence and rhythm, which leads to better consistency.
Where I’m at Right Now
Over the past few months, I’ve continued to be consistent with my goals, and I feel better. My apartment is so much nicer to be in, and I feel more engaged with life in general, especially since I added a goal to lessen doomscrolling.
I’ve added goals like eating better and built in more time for rest as well. I’ve used what I learned about consistency through this process and applied it to other areas of my life. Because of this, I’ve built a rhythm of having more time for my hobbies and things that I enjoy, which has improved my overall happiness.
I also feel proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish. I think that a self-improvement journey is not necessarily about a huge overhaul of your life, but rather, a few changes that build up into a better life and a better self.
