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8 of the Stupidest Criminals in History According to the Police Officers That Arrested Them

Police officers share some of their fondest memories of the stupidest criminals they ever met.

Dishonorable Drunk
image via WikiMedia Commons

MP cknight18 shares the sad fate of this young solider..

“Military police here. Thing about getting into trouble in the service is that for some things (like a DUI) you get into trouble both with us and the local law enforcement. There was this real junior guy who was driving back to his barracks room drunk. Somehow he went completely off the road and crashed into a fire hydrant. Fucked up his new car and did a pretty considerable amount of property damage too.

Anyways, this guy decides that before we get there, he’s going to leave. That’s not so dumb. The dumb parts when he walks back to the scene an hour later, claiming he had his car stolen and this was the first he had seen it. Not only did he still have his keys on him and I guess there was a witness that put him at the scene, but he is also very visibly drunk and injured. He was also underage, which on the civilian side might not count for much but in the military you can get in a lot of trouble just for that.

When we bring him back to the station, he refuses to tell us who gave alcohol to a minor. Which I guess means hes loyal, but when he’s in that much trouble already he really should have just told us.

Anyways, so in the end the guy not only has to pay hefty ticket, gets knocked down in rank, has to pay for his car and the property damage, but I’m pretty sure he got a dishonorable discharge as well. Getting that kind of discharge takes away pretty much all your benefits and makes it ridiculously hard to find a job.” 

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