Valentine’s Day used to mean making an intricate mailbox to set on my desk and buying twenty-two packs of FunDip. Only twenty-one kids were in my class, but my best friend got an extra.
I would write each of my classmate’s names on the “To” line and mine on the “From.” One for everyone; the booger eaters, the loud or quiet, the math haters and the math lovers. On Valentine’s Day in grade school, everyone got some acknowledgment.
Grade school is kind of when that stopped though. Think about it. When was the last time you gave someone acknowledgment for simply being there? People have become so preoccupied with pride and themselves. It’s now abnormal to express love openly.
Love Is a Powerful Thing
For a broad definition, love “encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional states, from the most sublime or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure.”
Simply put, it inspires, connects, and brings joy. It’s what binds humans together and what keeps us from falling apart. In fact, UT Austin Health found in their study that love can increase life expectancy and decrease symptoms of depression or anxiety.
There is no question that people need it, yet love is not regarded as other needs are. It tends to operate under the radar. Flowing through families, friends, and places without being named.
When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Not a kissy face at the end of a text, not hearting a message, not “luv ya” as you walk away.
A hard and firm “I love you.”
Romantic and Platonic
A big reason that love might go unnamed is because of its sectors. Being both romantic, as “in love” describes, or platonic, meaning intimate but not sexual.
Usually, it’s more common for romantic partners to express their love. Doing so is in the “script” of their relationship. Look at rom-coms for examples. The exchange of “I love you” will be that pivotal moment in the story.
But there are so many more sources of love in life besides romantic partners. In fact, the term “platonic life partners” has been catching popularity online. The platonic relationships people have often get overlooked or underappreciated. Which is funny, because people experience them more, yet talk about them less.
When things are in abundance, they can be more forgettable. Maybe that is why people put platonic love in the backseat.
Love can Be Scary
As one of the most intense emotions, it holds a sort of high ground in our minds, no matter the type. Love opens up channels for commitment, vulnerability, and rejection. These three things can be giant fears for people, getting in the way of further connection.
The paradox is that humans want vulnerability from others, but won’t show it themselves. A survey conducted by the dating app Hinge found that 61% of more than 4,000 people “ranked it as a higher priority than attractiveness, income, or height.”
It’s clear people know that emotional vulnerability strengthens connection. It’s what we don’t know that deters people from it.
Love does not have a return guarantee or time stamp.
Why You Should Say It Anyway
You never know when the last time will be.
Not only in a morbid way, but in any way. It could be your last time in a specific place, doing a specific activity, being with a specific person. Things change constantly, leaving only the present moment for us to make count.
People deserve to feel appreciated.
The people who show up for us deserve more than our fear. So on both average and special days, love should be shared.
Happy Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day might be a day to celebrate love, but it isn’t “the” day. All of them are. Like food, sleep, and air, love provides us a means to live. So say it to the people who matter.
Say “I love you.” Maybe throw in a pack of FunDip too.
Mickey Akins
February 18, 2024 at 10:38 pm
Great job Addie! Ao proud of your article and how much you have grown up, this was a great job and putting things in perspective of the day. Hugs and Love from Texas <3