For those who know me, you know my love for sitcoms. Friends. New Girl. Sex and the City. Modern Family. And for those who know me at heart, you know my fear of getting swept up in life’s ticking clock. But what if one could help the other?
Ever since I was young, I’ve ended the day by watching a twenty-minute sitcom. There’s something about the familiarity of a relatable, laughable friend group to wind down after a long day’s worth of to-dos. I can always count on the sound of a shared apartment’s door sweeping in characters or the theme song after a landed quip. It’s these simple components that not only serve as a decompressor for the day but also for your life.
And over the years, I’ve realized a recurring theme among the shows that have taken over my Netflix account: you’re not as far behind as you think you are.
These days, my recommended watches are flooded with main characters who start their story at age 17 and end two seasons later, age 19, by getting married and discovering their life’s purpose. And as much as I’m a fan of The Summer I Turned Pretty and My Life with the Walter Boys, in what world is that realistic?
The issue is that these popular shows target teenagers and promote the idealistic notion that their entire lives are sorted out before they reach their 20s.
Well, I’m 20, and I certainly don’t have my entire life sorted out.
So, amidst these sugar-coated plotlines, I’ve discovered the more lifelike shows to validate an uncertain path: ‘90s sitcoms.
Warning: spoilers ahead.
Friends
AKA my favorite show of all time. What I love most about Friends is the immediate transparency that no one has life figured out just yet. Take Rachel Green, for example, whose first appearance involves entering Central Perk after abandoning her own wedding. At age 24, Green’s heartache and disposal of her father’s credit cards pose as a blessing in disguise, sparking a reunion with her old friend, Monica Geller, the rekindling of Ross Geller, and the introduction of their pals.
Rachel’s arc invites a refreshing start from her past. Sure, she wasn’t used to a two-bedroom Manhattan apartment or earning a barista wage, but she certainly got used to the friendly faces next door. Although often associated with her on-and-off situationship/friend/wife/divorcee/co-parent relationship with Ross, her true transformation lay in becoming a strong, confident, stylish woman.
It really goes to show how a change in your life (and wardrobe) can enhance your inner self.
And remember, Monica, Joey, and Chandler were also unsatisfied with their careers until at least over halfway through the show. That would make them roughly 27-30 years old. So, I would think twice if you’re feeling stuck in your employment.
Despite the obvious relationship switches and career setbacks, the group found satisfaction in living across the hall and having daily debriefs. How can they feel truly behind if they’re fulfilled at heart?
They were able to find the silver linings of joy amidst unpredictability.
For instance, Joey and Chandler’s iconic roommate relationship stemmed from financial instability, but ended each day with a foosball table, a chick, and a duck. Monica’s small apartment kitchen led to her becoming the head chef at a respectable restaurant.
Don’t forget Ross’s three divorces – including a lesbian ex-wife – but ending the show with two lovable kids. And lastly, Phoebe’s devoted passion for songwriting despite a voice that is underappreciated.
Corny, yes, but the title really hit the nail on the head. Maybe friendship can help you feel unstuck in a spinning world of the unknown.
Sex and the City
Carrie. Samantha. Miranda. Charlotte. The favorite four.
Months ago, I finished my first watch of Sex and the City, and it did not disappoint. What’s not to love about it? Carrie’s journalist drive and plot-driven ventures, Samantha’s bold humor and sultriness, Miranda’s boss lady persona, and Charlotte’s devotion to art and soulmates.
We can all learn from each lady, and I think they’ve nailed what it means to find yourself through a spinning world of heartbreak and chaos. If you think you’re behind in relationships, let these women serve as a testament to a happy ever after, despite strange politicians and open bathroom doors.
Let’s start with Carrie Bradshaw’s introduction: a single woman running a trendy sex column for the “New York Observer.” Her wardrobe and infamous line, “I started to wonder,” make it hard not to love her. Though Carrie’s transformation involves career changes, she primarily evolves through her realization of self-worth minus a man’s validation.
Everyone knows her relationship with Big, and the never-ending situationship that leaves her red-handed with a pizza box and a barre. But, it would be unfair to say we haven’t been Carrie at some point in our lives, and that’s what makes the show so raw. Her unfiltered (and questionable) love-life choices ultimately lead her to a more mature approach to love and shoe purchases. And it only took roughly 28 men.
Samantha’s approach to love is definitely different, but equally important. In fact, if you’re feeling behind on your love life, don’t. Samantha was 45 when she finally settled down. Even though she was mainly one for flirty banter and one-night stands, she never let her age define her. Her acknowledgment that the girls never truly had it figured out is what makes the show so real. No one ever really does.
“It’s like the blind leading the blind.” – Samantha
Miranda’s life revolved around Chinese food and lawsuits rather than men’s obsessions, leaving her feeling behind. Life was always a race for her, and I’m sure many of us can relate. But in reality, she came to realize time’s inevitability, thanks to her unconventional love journey. Once she got pregnant with Steve’s child, she could then appreciate life’s unpredictability and the value of being attentive outside her career.
Lastly, hopeless romantic Ms. Charlotte York. Trust me – I’m all in for an extravagant love search, but when you create expectations, as Charlotte did, you’re always going to feel pressured. But how can you be behind if you’re the one pulling the reins? Despite the lack of early motherhood and a “picture-perfect” husband, she learned to trust something greater: redirection.
So, regardless of which girl you’d want to get in a Buzzfeed quiz, you must admire their paths just as admirable.
How I Met Your Mother
Ted Mosby did something I’m sure we’ve all wanted to do: hire a matchmaker. And in a world of 8 billion people, he only got one match.
Ted’s desire for a fulfilled life revolved around the search for a wife, and it definitely wasn’t an easy find. Like Charlotte York, Ted enters the show with a fairytale expectation of love. But even when it feels like you should steal a blue horn on a first date, you might want to save said gesture.
One of the reasons Ted had an idealistic vision of settling down was the comparison of his friends, Marshall and Lily, who had their own relationship struggles. Though ecstatic to be marrying so young, the couple wasn’t financially secure until age 29, nor did they discover their true career passions until age 35. So, a steady love life doesn’t necessarily make you feel any more advanced in life.
It’s easy to compare yourself to others (especially when your name is Ted, and you’ve been with roughly 58 women), but that doesn’t mean you should necessarily change.
After countless dates and countless redirections, Ted ultimately ended up with someone worth stealing a blue horn for. And *spoiler* it wasn’t his first marriage. Sometimes, it all lies in the hands of time, and that’s okay.
On the other hand, personal growth can benefit an uprooted lifestyle. Barney (my favorite character) and Robin serve as a testament to moving forward through self-discovery. Though Barney starts out as the typical flirty type, using the same pickup lines on every girl, he realizes the true value of security and family. And with Robin, she eventually overcame her deep-rooted fears of commitment and malls.
Maybe the characters were onto something: have faith in the future. Because one day, you’ll be sitting with your kids and talking about how you met their mother.
Will and Grace
Allow me to put you on this highly underrated show. Picture this: 4 friends living in Manhattan (of course) who juggle romance, careers, and sexuality. Okay, not unique, but again, an easily beloved series with chaos and uncertainty.
The show features Will Truman and Grace Adler, longtime friends and roommates, who feel constant dread about aging and monotony. Let me remind you once again that these characters were in their late twenties when the first season began. And they certainly don’t shy away from expressing existential crises. Through dramatics, flaws, and flamboyance, they lean into life’s satires, which ease daily stressors.
“Just Jack,” an aspiring starlet under theatrical lights, is a prime example of throwing caution to the wind. Performing legendary cabaret solos at open mic nights proves that you should always be doing what you love, regardless of how silly it may be. Being 29 should not let you stray away from singing pop ballads and yearning for your big break. You can always be young at heart.
Grace, though not an aspiring actor, also measured purpose through entrepreneurial ventures. Running an interior design firm was no easy task, and she often felt behind on elevating it. As a single businesswoman, she struggled to balance her career and relationships, all while trying to fight aging. However, defying societal standards led her to appreciate where she was, despite the casual roommate’s annoyance.
Speaking of, Will not only had his lawyer career to face, but his sexuality as well. Struggling with internal homophobia was no simple feat and resulted in commitment issues and several situationships – two scary triumphs. But what led him onto the right path was his acceptance of himself.
Sometimes all you need is a little self-redirecting to get you where you need to go. Once again, a common theme amid these shows.
The Bottom Line
Despite life’s crazy twists, it’s important to know that you are not alone. And we have characters like Rachel Green, Carrie Bradshaw, and Ted Mosby to thank. Whether entering your ’20s in the whirling unknown of employment, love, or self-discovery, trust me, you have plenty of time. No one truly has it all figured out.
So, in the meantime, why not try watching a twenty-minute sitcom? Who knows — you might learn a thing or two.
