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Why Do I Feel Crazy in My Relationship? Separation Anxiety Explained

Separation Anxiety can be scary. Find out how to ease it for your partner and for yourself.

separation anxiety
Credit: Shutterstock/Marish

The various stories told about relationships are black and white. A mirage of love and hatred, the timeline of a successful relationship as opposed to one that crumbled. It isn’t, however, always perfect.

Within the grey area of things left unspoken are the rocky patches everyone has experienced.

Separation Anxiety is only one of the experiences one may deem a difficult chapter, and it can certainly make you doubt every aspect of your relationship.

Sometimes, absence does not make the heart grow fonder; in fact, it can send you into a spiral of irrational fears.

So, what is it? And how do you know whether you or your partner are suffering from it?

Credit: Shutterstock/Salim Hanzaz

Separation Anxiety is an overwhelming and exaggerated worry of being parting from your partner. Feelings of loneliness, abandonment, or the concern that something may happen to your partner are common and can overwhelm your life.

Often, you or your partner may become increasingly angsty before parting, leading to various physical symptoms such as stomachaches, restlessness, a racing heart, vomiting, and shortness of breath.

How to relieve your Separation Anxiety?

  • Find ways to fill your time. It might seem difficult at the time, but it distracts your mind by spending time with friends, family, or pets.
  • Being alone can be difficult, so try to fill the silence with music, podcasts, or your favorite show.
  • Find ways to relate to other figures who might be going through similar experiences.
  • Go on a walk. You’d be surprised how much fresh air can help a busy mind.
  • Exercise your mind or body. Tire yourself out. Try a new hobby or workout.
  • Make some food or have some food. Enough said. Food aids all.

How to ease your Partner’s Separation Anxiety?

  • Pay attention. Reassurance is the most important thing. Calling your partner ‘crazy’ or ‘irrational’ will not help.
  • Spend time with them. Comfort and quality time may be something your partner needs.
  • Communicate. Let your partner express their whats and their whys. They might have a lot of built tension and stress. Aid it. Offer them a massage, watch a film, and light some candles.
  • Be affectionate and show them that you care. A little goes a long way.
  • Help them and encourage them to find hobbies that they love. Try some of them out with them.
  • Make plans. Think of spontaneous trips or dates, even simple home time. Feelings of abandonment and paranoia may be eased by knowing that you are trying to see them as often as possible.

Why Does it Occur?

While Separation Anxiety in children is very common, it is likewise part of a fight, flight, or freeze system. Once children detect that there is no danger when they are left alone, they adapt to their new environment.

Conversely, separation anxiety within romantic relationships differs. When left alone, a partner will grow increasingly more anxious but will be unable to cope with the situation as a child would.

In essence, if the condition worsens, it may be plausible that they have a separation anxiety disorder.

It Will Get Better with Time

As horrible as it may sound, you are not alone in this. In fact, you may be surprised just how many people actually have their own spin on it.

TikTok couples have pinpointed the small fears attached to your partner leaving. Like shown in the TikTok above, the paranoia linked to Separation Anxiety is a deep desire for your partner to be okay.

Doctors and psychologists have likewise taken to TikTok to normalize the condition/episode.

While Separation Anxiety can disrupt your day, find ways to comfort your mind or your partner. Try your hand at Snapchat or FaceTime. Stay in contact and always communicate.

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