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So They Ghosted You. Now What?

The person you’re talking to has ghosted you. What happens now?

Phone indicating ghosting between two people.
Credit: Shutterstock/Cristian Storto

Being ghosted is one of the most frustrating, yet confusing things to go through while you’re part of the dating scene.

So you’ve been texting someone new, and it’s going great. You talk all the time; you’re texting from the moment you wake up, until you’re ready for bed. Eventually you go on a date or two.

All of a sudden their replies are shorter. Their replies are taking longer, and the conversations are fizzling out. You have officially been ghosted.

What’s ghosting?

Before we go into detail about this topic, let’s establish what ghosting is.

Some may or may not know what the term ‘ghosting’ means, but they most definitely have experienced it at some point in their life.

Ghosting, or being ghosted is when you or someone else ends a relationship by cutting communication with the other person.

The frequency of ghosting

As mentioned, the fact is ghosting is a very common occurrence. It’s very rare to find someone these days who hasn’t been ghosted or has ghosted at least once before.

Let’s ask ourselves why it’s such a reoccurring issue people are facing.

The internet makes ghosting very easy. We can simply stop responding to someone, or even block or remove their contact off of our phones.

That plays a significant role as to why it’s such a frequent thing that people do or go through.

From Anna Brown’s article through Pew Research Center, she has established that three-in-ten adults have experienced being ghosted. Not only that, but the majority of adults who are online dating have experienced it and are more susceptible to it.

The reason they’re ghosting you

There could be a multitude of reasons that someone is ghosting you, but there is a handful of recycled excuses that they use.

Typically, the reasoning you hear is that they are just too busy and need to focus on themselves. But if this is really the case, the least they can do is let you know that.

Another potential reason is that they ended up finding someone else they wanted to date. It’s sad to say but a lot of people who are in situationships try not to keep all their eggs in one basket. This fact makes them talk to a few people at a time until their favorite one starts acting right.

Not only that, but some people avoid the confrontational stage of ending a relationship because they have already mentally checked out of it.

As someone who is confrontational I learned the long way that sometimes people who are wyling need to be ignored or ghosted. When you go back and forth enough times you start realising that half the time people know exactly what they’re doing & need you to engage for it to work.


They may not even have anyone else on the side, but they may have been bored. Some people just aren’t looking for a committed relationship. They tend to not vocalize it and lead the other person on.

Another potential reason why they’re ghosting you is because they may have been using you to get over someone else. That is–as sad as it is–a very common occurrence. Say the person you were talking to recently got out of a relationship or situationship and they quickly made a move on you. Chances are they’re using you.

The historical duality of relationships

When we think about relationships 30, even 40 years ago, there is an insane duality between then and now.

Back then, it was a lot harder to ghost someone. You typically knew their address and could show up at any time to speak to them. If they don’t call you for days, you can call them and check in with no shame. It’s pretty hard to ghost someone in person.

Nowadays, with technology and more self-humiliation, people would rather be caught dead than hit up someone who evidently ghosted them. As previously mentioned, ghosting has become much easier with this new age of technology.

Back in the 90s, all you had to do was sit by your phone and wait for a call. You could remain as clueless as you want to. Social media wasn’t much of a thing like how it is now. Out of sight, out of mind.

Now, if someone ghosts you, you can easily stalk their social media and see what they’re posting. Getting hints at whether they found someone new is significantly easier.

What should you do if you’re ghosted?

Being ghosted is emotionally draining and all you want to do is get closure to make it easier to get over them.

To be entirely honest, the very last thing you should do is hit them up and ask them why they ghosted you. Whether they have a reason or not, their silence is enough of an answer. It tells you that they are no longer interested in speaking with you.

Getting over being ghosted is by far the hardest thing because you never know what the reason is. Never mind the irking feeling of wanting to know why they did. Focus on the fact that they did it in the first place. If they were meant to be yours, they would not have ghosted you in the first place.


Please don’t do this. If he cared about you he would never confuse you or ghost you. #dating #datingadvice #women #woman #fyp #foryou #foru

♬ original sound – Karla Elia

On social media, people are publicly stating what not to do when in this situation. The very last thing you want to do is seem like it affects you. You have to continue as you were before that person entered your life.

You don’t want to show that it bothers you. It may sound ridiculous, but it’s evident they don’t care about you. If they did, they would not have ghosted you. Don’t give the other person that satisfaction.

We established that we’ve all been ghosted at least once in our lives. It’s not something easy to get through, but it needs to be done at some point.

The best thing to do for yourself is to mentally let that person go once they’ve let you go first.

No response is a response in and of itself. Ghosting is a clear indication that they don’t want you.

The person who is meant for you wouldn’t do that.

Are you in a fresh relationship looking to keep that honeymoon phase last as long as possible? Read this article to find out how.

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English literature student, lover of books and writing, and an avid Formula 1 fan.

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