Break ups can be hard. It’s a strange feeling to be apart on an ‘us’ one day, only to be completely separated the next. Emotions always run high, and many times, break ups prove to be a challenging experience for plenty of people.
It’s normal to be sad or upset over a break up. It’s a transition period, which is always hard. But just because a relationship ended doesn’t mean that your life is over as well. Here are my five tips to help you move on from a break up. You’ll learn to refocus your attention on yourself, cut all reminders to your ex, and cultivate a new path moving forward towards healing. Don’t let this hard time stop you from living your life and don’t be afraid to move on!
1. Acknowledge the relationship
There’s no use in trying to pretend your relationship didn’t happen – it did. As hurt or upset as you might be, you have to acknowledge what the relationship meant to you. Don’t stay in denial, accept that you had this relationship once and now it’s over. Might sound harsh, but trust me, don’t waste your time pretending like your relationship never existed in the first place.
Acknowledging the relationship is a great first step at moving past it. Give yourself time to think back on what made your relationship special to you. Appreciate the old times without getting too bogged down in the past. If you can think more logically about your relationship and why it ended, you’ll be able to put your emotions aside and move on a lot easier.
Whatever you’re feeling, know that you’re not alone! Break ups happen to countless people, and it always hurts in some way. Take a few minutes and scroll through this reddit post. You’ll find that other people have gone through the same pain you have – and if they can survive it, so can you. Click here to read!
2. Focus on yourself
In times of change, such as a break up, the chaos of it all can often cloud our minds. When you spend so much time thinking about the other person, it can be easy to lose sight of yourself. I find that during these emotional times, it is vital to stay in touch with yourself.
It can be all too tempting to fixate on your ex, wondering what went wrong, wishing things could be different, but this doesn’t help you heal. Instead of scrolling through Instagram, reminiscing on what once was, give yourself a break. Pay attention to yourself. You deserve some TLC too. Do something you love, step outside of your situation, and reconnect to who you were before this relationship. When you find peace with yourself, it can be a lot easier to navigate the chaos.
3. Remove reminders
Reminders of a relationship are the easiest way to stay stuck after a break up. When feelings are still raw, any little reminder of what once was can feel like a truck slamming into you. After all, how are you able to move on if you’re constantly surrounded by memories? Do the cliche thing and put all reminders of your ex into a box.
If you’re constantly seeing your ex’s face on social media or still wear their sweatshirt, even after you’ve parted, it will feel impossible to move on from the break up. Archive your posts, take off that sweatshirt, and let yourself exist without the reminders. Allow yourself to forget about the relationship, even for a little bit. That mental break will help you move past your break up and clear your head, which you probably need more than you realize.
4. Go out and have fun!
Listen to me – your life hasn’t ended because you’re no longer in a relationship. It can be all too easy to want to stay in and pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist, but that will not help you at all. Part of what makes relationships fun are the experiences you have with another person. But just because that other person is gone doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun adventures.
Reallocate the time you would have spent with your partner to your friends and family. Leave the house and spend a day with yourself. Go visit that cafe you and your ex talked about but never got around to trying. Have adventures and live your life. You don’t need a relationship to have fun.
5. Allow time to pass
Break ups can be raw and painful for months after. Feelings don’t go away immediately, they can take time to be processed. You’ve got to allow yourself space to heal, and time is the best remedy. Give yourself a grieving period. It’s normal to be upset, but don’t get stuck wallowing in the past. The best thing you can do after a break up is to let time do what it does best – keep moving.
This is the easiest tip because you don’t have do to a single thing. If you focus on yourself and the other relationships in your life, you’ll find that time has given you distance from your break up. The distance can be so powerful, because once you’re no longer in the thick of it, you can step outside of the situation and just exist. I mean, time heals all wounds, right?
What next?
Ending a relationship can be painful, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer forever. Feel your emotions but don’t let them consume you. Things end, but life goes on. Take these tips and try to step outside of the hurt you feel. When you realign your attention on yourself and your own happiness, then you can truly heal and move on from the past.
