College is a new adventure, and so is the dating pool, so let’s get real about what it’s actually like.
Dating is anxiety-inducing as it is, but what happens when you throw college into the mix? From first-date nerves to the dreaded vetting from your friends, there’s a multitude of things to consider before you step into the dating pool.
Fancy a drink?
Where to go on a first date is the question that no one on the planet can decide on without the back and forth of ‘I don’t mind, you choose.’ It can be as relaxed or as intimate as you want it to be. Don’t put it under too much pressure, but don’t settle either. The 2 am ‘hey’ won’t be the person you want to be hanging out with for the foreseeable future.
We’ve all had our fair share of terrible dates and extremely awkward run-ins. I don’t have enough hands to count how many times I’ve felt my heart drop out of my chest when I see the exact person you’ve been trying to avoid. I’ve hid behind bushes and lied my way out of staying for one more drink but it’s all in the college spirit. If all else fails, it’ll be a good debrief with your friends!
Without being too negative, dating in college can be tricky. Boundaries need to be set early on to avoid those uncomfortable heartbroken encounters on campus. “Definitely communicate about where the situation is going and what you want from it.” is the advice Sioned, a Sheffield Hallam student, gives.
Dating app dos and don’ts.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all suffered on dating apps. A membership should really be given to you in Freshers’ weeks because we all end up on them. They can be really fun, like a little game of hot or not with your friends. Or you can leave them feeling more or less traumatized. It’s a real hit-or-miss scenario. Most importantly, you need to stay safe of them, so please follow these tips:
- Don’t give out any personal information (address, where you work etc).
- When you go on a date, keep your location on and your friends up to date.
- Find out beforehand if you can ‘Ask for Angela’ at the date if needs be.
- If your gut’s telling you something off, listen to it!
It’s not all things to worry about, though. Making your profile is definitely one of the best parts. Listening to all the voice prompts and reading the terrible bios is a hilarious highlight, too. There’s nothing quite like a boy serenading you over text. With your tackiest pickup line in tow and your best ‘jeans and a nice top’, you will be just fine.
A true love story
Dating in college definitely has it’s fair share of ups and downs, but don’t feel disheartened. At least not until you’ve heard the epic love story of Iris and Boaz. They took college dating to a whole new level.
Iris had just started her first year at the University of Edinburgh, and whilst on a student newspaper pub crawl in September 2022, the stars aligned, and she met Boaz. He was on an exchange program from Amsterdam with the University of Edinburgh and happened to be at the social. After spotting each other amongst the crowd and after drinking a few pints of liquid courage, Iris went to speak to Boaz. They walked home together and exchanged Instagram accounts. A few days later, a coffee date followed.
The geographical distance between them grew once Boaz went home. So I guess this is a case of ‘if they wanted to, they would.’ “We fly to each other every month and call every other day. We also send each other things in the post,” Iris tells us. “We’re very honest, and when we argue, we sort it out straight away.” Fortunately, Boaz managed to get another exchange for the first semester of Iris’ second year.
Boaz recites how they met every week or so in the beginning. It was clear they “liked each other a lot,” so gradually, it increased. “I think it helped us that we didn’t take it too seriously at the start, so we could gradually trust each other more to stick around,” confesses Boaz.
When asked what he’d say about dating on campus, Boaz says, “it was a good dating vibe. Lots of coffee places, which is easy and enjoyable.” Library and pub dates are some other suggestions from Iris.
It’ll be okay…
Relationships and dating are never easy and sometimes they don’t always work out as you’d hope. College definitely has it’s trials and tribulations but following the love story of Boaz and Iris, I think we can all conclude that what’s meant for you really won’t pass you by.
Even if you are heading into college with a partner already, you aren’t alone. Despite the warnings against them, studies show 75% of students are in long distance relationships. If all those people manage it, then there’s no reason you can’t too! At least you won’t be peer pressured to enter the minefield of dating apps.
“I think it helped us that we didn’t take it too seriously at the start…there wasn’t too much pressure”
Boaz, University of Amsterdam.
