Mississippi journalist live tweeted the peril of having to spend dawn til dusk in a waffle house, as punishment for coming last in his fantasy football league.
As forfeits go, spending 24 hours trapped in a Waffle House, doesn’t seem too bad. At least from the outset.
However Lee Sanderlin, a journalist for the Clarion Ledger, found out just how hard it is to spend an entire day, dawn til dusk, trapped surrounded by waffles your body just cannot process any longer.
Sanderlin lost in his fantasy football league, and was forced to spend 24 hours in a waffle house. The rules were that for each waffle he ate, he could take off one hour from his remaining time.
The manager of the waffle house told BuzzFeed reporters that they welcomed the visitor, but were concerned about the volume of waffle he ate: ‘You know they are pretty big. That is a lot of bread’.
I am coming to you live from a Brandon, Mississippi Waffle House. I, a total loser, came in last place in my fantasy football league. As punishment, I spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. Every waffle I eat shaves an hour off the clock. It’s 4:07 Central. pic.twitter.com/oRugzU7rQT
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 17, 2021
Sanderlin went for two honeycomb waffles at first, but complained that his stomach was already rumbling: ‘This is going to be a long one’. Luckily, he brought along ‘some books, some magazines, and some podcasts’ to pass the time.
Yet, after his first two waffles, Sanderlin still had an enormous 21.5 hours to go.
‘The staff do not believe me that I’ll be here that long… little do they know,’ Sanderlin remarked.
I am coming to you live from a Brandon, Mississippi Waffle House. I, a total loser, came in last place in my fantasy football league. As punishment, I spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. Every waffle I eat shaves an hour off the clock. It’s 4:07 Central. pic.twitter.com/oRugzU7rQT
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 17, 2021
After just four waffles, Sanderlin was ‘dead inside’ and ‘ready to be launched into the sun’. Who knew that waffles could be so dark and dangerous?
Four waffles down. Been here for 1.5 hours, so that means I have 18.5 to go. I am already in immense discomfort. Please, somebody, launch me into the sun pic.twitter.com/LyyZObcmQ3
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 17, 2021
At this point, the fantasy football league commissioner made it known that Sanderlin would be allowed to sit out in the car parking lot if he needed to, and that vomiting would not count against him.
Although, Sanderlin said: ‘This won’t recalibrate the strategy’.
Six waffles, a trip to the parking lot, and lot of introspective thinking later, Sanderlin was alone in the waffle house.
We’ve entered peak boredom hours. All the staff went out for their smoke breaks. This Waffle House doesn’t feel like a waffle home with no one here pic.twitter.com/jv2epLvvvi
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
At 4am, with just five hours remaining, boredom truly setting in, he ordered two more waffles: plate numbers eight and nine.
Ok, I have four hours left. Again, the plan here is to order two waffles at 6 am CT and get out of here at 7. That would be 9 waffles and an amount of calories I don’t want to think about
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
According to the restaurant chain’s numbers, each waffle contains 410 calories, meaning all nine waffles amounted to 3,690 calories – excluding any extras added.
Ok, I have four hours left. Again, the plan here is to order two waffles at 6 am CT and get out of here at 7. That would be 9 waffles and an amount of calories I don’t want to think about
— Lee Sanderlin (@LeeOSanderlin) June 18, 2021
Finally, with immense stomach pain, boredom, and nine waffles down him, Sanderlin was a free man. A free man who had been taught a lesson on never losing at Fantasy Football again.
If this hasn’t put you off waffles, nothing will, so check out the new Maccies waffle fries!
