It’s now day eight in Paradise, and the couples are settling into their grooves. Things are going so well for most pairs that they don’t even get screen time this episode. So, here’s your refresher on who’s with who: Jess and Spencer are practically married, Bailey and Jeremy are sharing each other’s gum (I’m ill), Parisa and Brian are…fine, unfortunately, Alexe and Andrew are getting along since she officially friend-zoned Jonathon, and Jill and Sean are still just friends. Then there’s Kat and Dale, whose escalating argument eats up the majority of the episode.
The Golden contestants, while not quite coupled up yet, are thriving in their own way. Kathy and Keith had a sweet “stay-in” date last week, but most of the Golden ladies are still playing the field and forming friendships, especially with the OG cast.
Golden hour
The episode kicks off with April…who suddenly thinks she’s a cat? She’s literally purring and meowing at Jonathon. She nuzzles him, flirts shamelessly, and meows between sentences. I don’t understand what’s happening, but somehow he’s into it. I just love the producers for feeding us this delusion that a Golden and an OG could actually get together.
Look, Jonathon is desperate for a rose, and if April’s antics are what it takes to get him to stay, then so be it.
April isn’t the only Golden that’s making new friends. Leslie, the fitness queen, leads a water aerobics class in the pool. And Kathy’s taking body shots off Charles K., with a lime slice waiting in his mouth. Honestly iconic. Welles even calls out the OGs for not having nearly enough energy and “pizzazz” as The Goldens.
Gary steals the show
Cue the marimbas—Gary’s here!
We all remember Gary as the retired finance executive and dance enthusiast from Joan’s season. He shimmies in with a date card, alongside traditional Costa Rican dancers. How fitting. He’s a big teddy bear (with a head full of hair) and the ladies love it.
Gary chooses Leslie for a salsa date in the pouring rain. They talk about past relationships, and Leslie opens up about never having been taken care of. Gary, the sweetheart he is, tells her she deserves to rest. He wants to support her, and we love to hear it.
Kat and Dale: Officially “deaded”?
While Gary is emotionally mature and communicative, the same can’t be said for Dale. I’ve seen the red flags since his relationship with Claire Crawley, so I’m still baffled how he got anyone’s attention—especially Kat’s.
Last week, Alli Jo came in hot and spent most of her time with Dale. The two shared a kiss. Now, Kat’s asking questions, and Dale’s panicking like a man who thought he got away with kissing and not telling.
When Kat asks if anything happened with Alli Jo outside the challenge, Dale reluctantly admits that they kissed. His defense? He “deaded it.”
Come again?
Kat’s asking for transparency. Dale’s acting like a teenage boy who just learned what slang is. Every time she asks for clarity, he can only say that he “deaded it.” Literally what does that even mean? The more he says it, the more I’m losing it just watching. I’m shocked that crash-out Kat is still trying to communicate with him.
Before the rose ceremony, Dale continues to belittle Kat’s feelings, hitting her with the “this sounds a lot like my ex” card. He even cuts off Gary when he tries to give him advice. How dare he! He takes it a step further by implying that this argument has to do with differences in Kat and Dale’s upbringing. Sir, the issue is that you kissed someone else and didn’t tell her… It’s that simple.
Kat vents to the girls. Dale seeks validation from Jeremy and Brian (the two boys who are still waiting for their frontal lobes to develop). Meanwhile, Jonathon swoops in with champagne and immaculate conversation skills. He makes Kat laugh, he listens, he forms full sentences… But is that enough to sway her rose?
April’s wild card rose
While Jonathon is looking for a rose, April’s on the hunt for someone to give hers to—since the women have the power this week. She’s running around with a literal cupid’s bow. Where she got it and why she has it? No clue. Kim shuts her down during their conversation, somehow convinced he’s getting Leslie’s rose. Then Jack swoops in and literally silences April with a kiss. But yeah, she’s not feeling it. At all. So, she circles back to Jonathon. April pulls him aside, and Kathy casually counts his six-pack abs. I would, too, girl. I would, too.
The rose ceremony plays out pretty much as expected, with the same strong couples from the beginning sticking together. Natascha gives her rose to Gary, meaning Leslie pivots and gives hers to Kim (as a friend). And sadly, Kat still picks Dale.
Just as Jonathon starts packing, APRIL. GIVES. HIM. HER. ROSE.
I’m screaming. I’m gagged. April sacrifices her own connections to keep Jonathon around. That means Jack, CJ, and Charles K. all go home. The other women aren’t mad, exactly, but one less guy means fewer options for The Goldens, and more women are coming.
Three new arrivals
Not much happens the morning after the ceremony. Dale and Kat are still rocky. Kim awkwardly reads Leslie a poem and she is totally getting the ick. Meanwhile, Gary’s avoiding Natascha because he’s laser-focused on Leslie, who clearly wants to be with him.
Later, two new arrivals stir the pot: Lea (Joey’s Season) and Golden Nancy (Gerry’s Season).
The Golden men are mesmerized by Nancy, including Keith, who suddenly is “not romantically interested” in Kathy anymore. Interesting.
Lea talks to Sean first, and Jill is spiraling. But we don’t see much from them.
And then—because there wasn’t enough drama tonight—Faith rides into Paradise on a horse.
So now we’ve got six Golden women and only three Golden men. I smell trouble…
Next week brings another chemistry test, even more arrivals (I’ve had enough!), and some intense fighting. Watch it on Monday on ABC.
