The true magic of the extremely popular video game Minecraft is its simplicity. Much of the joy from playing the game is how it’s a calming experience of collaboration and construction. There’s an ethereal feeling in building something by yourself or with friends. Whether it’s the Starship Enterprise or a working 16-bit computer, Minecraft can truly be magic.
All of these reasons are why it gives me no joy to say that “A Minecraft Movie,” the latest in a long line of horrible video game film adaptations, is an abomination. The movie, which follows nearly every cliche of a modern blockbuster, completely ignores the joy and excitement of creating something.
Yes, there are plenty of moments that can provide people our age some good fun. Look no further than the hijinks that have ensued at theaters when Jack Black’s Steve utters the words, “chicken jockey.” The film appeals to our generation’s need for memes in our entertainment. But if that’s how film studios think in order to get Gen Z to the theaters, it is an indictment of both how little respect our generation is given and how much our brains get ruined by social media.
Boring direction, bad Minecraft jokes
Director Jared Hess’ claim to fame, aside from directing a movie that will soon make $1 billion, is his debut feature, “Napoleon Dynamite.” The deadpan classic gave Hess a distinct style and voice. Sadly, that style is nowhere to be found in “A Minecraft Movie.”
Hess’ direction feels completely anonymous. When our main characters reach the Minecraft world, it seems like the actors are in front of a green screen for the rest of the runtime. Now that I think about it, even Idaho looks fake in this movie. None of the action has the tactility or grandeur of any other great blockbusters like “Dune: Part Two.”
Additionally, many of the jokes involve dumb puns, one-liners or references to the game’s culture. I’m not saying that there isn’t value in making allusions to Minecraft. It’s what will get fans excited. But that’s just it. There’s nothing else. Nothing of substance to latch onto.
Even the jokes that play to memes, like when Steve says “I yearned for the mines,” just feel groan-worthy. The humor that Hess once had on “Napoleon Dynamite” is gone. And it’s a darn shame.
Story? Never heard of her!
Typically in film reviews, it would be good to describe the plot. It gives the viewers a taste of what the picture is about. Fortunately, for this review, that’s not too much of an issue since “A Minecraft Movie” feels devoid of any plot that feels unique or original.
The story follows a brother (Sebastian Hansen) and sister (Emma Myers) as they mend their relationship in the Minecraft world. The older sister has to take care of her “creative” younger brother as both of their parents are no longer with us. But since the siblings barely spend any time together, the whole dynamic feels rushed. It’s as though the film just needed to check the boxes of traditional screenwriting.
Furthering this point, Jason Momoa’s character, Garrett “The Garbage Man” Garrison, who is a washed-up gaming champ, has very little to offer. Momoa feels poorly cast playing a loser; he’s much more suited when he’s playing cool and crazy tough guys. Additionally, his storyline essentially revolves around learning how to be a hero and a good person — a narrative that has been told for as long as we have been telling ourselves stories.
Where is the creativity?
Earlier this month, Marjorie Candreva identified what makes Minecraft magic for Trill Mag: “What else is there to do in a dragonless world? The better question is, ‘What can’t you do in your Minecraft world? Why can’t the world last forever?'” Minecraft can go in so many different directions, so why didn’t the film represent that in some way? In a video game where you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT, why are most of the buildings and objects so contrived?
This critique particularly pertains to the young boy in the film, who is supposedly shunned by the other kids for being too creative. But once he’s in the Minecraft world, there’s nothing he does to suggest that he’s some creative wizkid. Sure, Minecraft gives players the ability to just be ordinary (just look at the villagers). But any thematic commentary on this front is totally lost on the filmmakers.
The Nether, which holds the film’s bland CGI antagonist, is a proper metaphor for the entire film. Steve calls the Nether a place where creativity goes to die. With the abundance of clichés and lack of unique world design, the storyworld of “A Minecraft Movie” feels like what happens when you rely on nothing inventive or any unique perspective.
Again, it’s a bad blockbuster. We have had plenty of bad ones, especially ones adapting video games. But this doesn’t have to be the case. There’s the amazing documentary, “Grand Theft Hamlet,” where stage actors create a revival of Hamlet inside Grand Theft Auto. It demonstrates the game’s special qualities and how video games can help us navigate isolation and depression.
“A Minecraft Movie” has ambitions nowhere near those. It just would’ve been nice if they all tried a wee bit harder.
Closing thoughts
Look, I’m aware I can possibly come off as a grump since I didn’t have fun at “A Minecraft Movie.” Some might ask, “Why don’t you let people enjoy things?” But I fundamentally reject the premise of that question. It doesn’t give audience members the respect they deserve.
Yes, there can be fun and a true connection to mindless entertainment. Many people, including myself, have a TV show or movie where you can turn your brain off and find value. But when old memes and tired cliches are the basis of your film, it becomes a soulless cash grab for the hearts and minds of the youth. No amount of mindless action or funny one-liners will change that.
“A Minecraft Movie” clearly has little respect for its audience. And when a movie studio doesn’t have that respect, then you get endless sequels of intellectual property that will eventually lead to pure garbage. But hey, let people enjoy things, right?
