In January 2022, software engineer Eggplant set out to code the world’s biggest penis. Relying on the computer coding program Python, experts’ advice, and dozens of pseudonyms, Eggplant slowly erected his masterpiece.
“NASA made a 680 Gigapixel image of the Moon. So did Eggplant make an image of the Sun? The solar system?” the penis’ humorous newspaper “The Quickie Express” quips.
“No, he made an image of a human penis.”
Eggplant, a former NASA intern who has asked to remain anonymous, has coded a massive, cartoon penis. It is pale peach, with a pink, continuous vein that undulates throughout the image, also making the penis entirely unique. No part of the code repeats itself.
The penis, much like a real penis, has two size states: flaccid and erect. The flaccid size is 128 Gigapixels, making it “manageable” to “some computers.” The flaccid version is available to download.
The erect size, however, is the truly massive version, totaling over 102 Terapixels. It is not available to download.
Luckily, software engineer Eggplant also made an easily accessible website platform on which casual internet scrollers can peruse the penis, as well. This website, despite including what feels like a lot of the penis, as well as a lot of relevant information about the coding masterpiece, only features 0.0002% of the full image.
Eggplant warns that scrolling through the entire online penis would take a minimum of 41 days. For those willing to take on the full challenge, the creator has scattered hidden treasures throughout the image, offering “an open challenge for all ye who has the jewels to handle it.”
The website’s pseudo-article goes on to explain the origin of the world’s biggest penis.
Originally, Eggplant aspired to poke fun at NFTs by creating one. When considering the design and size to create, Eggplant decided it would be “hilarious” to make an image so large that the average computer would not be capable of accessing the file.
In essence, Eggplant wanted to create “digital art that was totally inaccessible but available to buy via blockchain. What sounded more like peak NFT craze than that?”
Interestingly, most of the existing huge-scale images are composites of many smaller images. Google Earth, for example, tiles thousands of images from neighborhoods and alleyways across the world to create a larger immersive experience users can access from their computers.
Eggplant, however, sought to create one singular unified image.
After crashing his computer dozens of times, and reworking his project even more, Eggplant created a penis 102,040,171,200,000 pixels (or 102 Terapixels) large.
For reference, if every pixel were an inch big, the penis would circumvent the Earth 2.7 times. The penis’ total area would cover 12.3 million football fields. It is 8.5 million times bigger than a standard phone camera photo.
Prior to Eggplant’s creation, the world’s largest image was under one Terapixel. In fact, Eggplant’s penis is 290 times larger than the current Guinness World Record holder. However, the penis is not yet recognized by Guinness as the world’s largest digital image.
The penis also has associated merchandise, with shirts socks, stickers, and bookmarks available to purchase. In fact, 5% of all proceeds will be donated to a charity for men’s mental health and suicide prevention.
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