To many, how a woman dresses dictates how she deserves to be treated in society. Women who wear revealing clothing are “asking” for sexual attention, perhaps even assault, and modesty becomes a weapon to control women’s sexuality. These social patterns demonstrate the persistence of rape culture through the wardrobe.
Growing up, people praised me for dressing modestly. Elders in my family celebrated that I knew “you don’t need to show skin to be beautiful.” There existed an unspoken association between how I dressed, my intelligence, and inferred value.
As I entered my teenage years, others equated this trait with my beauty, decency, and respectability. I didn’t always understand why, but it somehow set me apart from girls who dressed differently.
What even defines “modest” attire? Is it the amount of skin coverage an outfit has? Is it based on whether a garment is loose- or tight-fitting? Most of all, does dressing “modestly” effectively deter sexual advances from male perpetrators?
Expecting women to dress modestly makes it easier to blame victims of sexual harassment or assault who don’t comply with such standards — a mindset that propagates rape culture.
“Modest is Hottest”
In many cases, religious beliefs, like evangelical Christianity, enforce female modesty. In theory, I can appreciate the sentiment of modesty as a courtesy in religious spaces. But there is a clear imbalance in how that expectation affects women versus men, being exceedingly restrictive for the former.
Plus, mere exhibitions of faith and piety are not the only motivators coercing women into covering up — women in the church maintain chaste appearances to prevent their brothers in Christ from “stumbling.”
Many women raised in the church are taught to dress accordingly, leading to a hyperawareness of the body, and shame around displaying it.
Anytime I would wear a skirt to church that was seen as “revealing,” I would be very conscious of others looking at me, especially the boys. So I trained myself to sit a certain way to sort of hide my body.
Anna, 19
Bodies aren’t inherently sexual, but they can be sexualized by socially reinforced expectations. This not only inordinately limits women’s chosen image, but also promotes shame around (female) bodies as intrinsically provocative. Women are therefore responsible for adjusting to this shame instead of addressing the gender biases that fuel it.
This reveals a greater issue around forced female modesty: women are pressured to alter their behavior and presentation to conform to — or protect themselves from — the wandering gaze of men.
When a woman fails to meet this standard, society questions her morality, innocence, intelligence, and value.
Worse, if she is sexually harassed or assaulted, some might blame her because of what she was wearing at the time (not, you know, the offender). This is a palpably common aspect of rape culture.
The whims of men take precedence over female expression in this way as early-on as grade school.
No Spaghetti Straps
Just like standards of modesty in the church, school dress codes tend to reprimand women harsher than men.
A common reason dress codes unprecedentedly limit female students is for their attire being “too distracting.” But that explanation is worn out when paired with the myopic mindset that women’s bodies are inherently sexual, again becoming a gauge of one’s intelligence and morality.
Body parts like shoulders and thighs adopt sexually-charged connotations because of male teachers’ discomfort or male students’ supposed inability to focus. So female students must internalize these flawed (yet rampant) mindsets, outlining how they think about their bodies far into adulthood.
When a school takes the decision to police female students’ bodies while turning a blind eye to boys’ behavior, it sets up a lifelong assumption that sexual violence is inevitable and victims are partially responsible. Students are being groomed to perpetuate the rape culture narrative that sits at the very heart of our society’s sexual violence crisis.
Laura Bates, Time Magazine
Troubling Patterns
With both school dress codes and church life, there exists this prevailing mindset that encourages an understanding of the female body as fundamentally sexual (even as minors, in the case of the scandalized skirt lengths of female students).
Each context is a gateway for a misogynistic, controlled approach to female dress and overall appearance. The desires of the male triumph over female comfortability, choice, and self-expression.
Unfortunately, society perceives “provocatively dressed” women as deserving the sexual aggression that they’re more likely to face. When women lose agency over their bodies in this way, they also lose part of their humanity. They’re seen less as people and are instead reduced to inanimate outlets onto which men can project their sexual fantasies.
Male dominion over the female appearance supersedes the seemingly obvious choice to dress how one wants.
More than this, priming women to accommodate these standards of modesty is ineffective in preventing their objectification and assault. Instead, forced modesty fosters a divisive binary between women who fall in line and women who don’t.
Scrutinizing women’s bodies in this way makes it easier for victims to blame themselves and hesitate to report incidents of assault.
Why are Women Pressured to Fix a Problem Perpetuated by Men?
Whether a woman dresses modestly or immodestly, there’s an implicit assumption that her appearance caters to the male gaze.
Women dressed in revealing clothing “leave nothing to the imagination,” stripping men of the ability to undress them with their minds (boo-hoo) while inviting blame should they endure sexual harassment or assault. Meanwhile, conservatively dressed women observe patriarchal pressures dictating the female wardrobe, but men find ways to sexualize them regardless.
The idea that a woman is blameworthy for any harassment or attention she gets based on what she was wearing is rape culture.
The notion that “she was asking for it in that outfit” — that dressing a certain way is an invitation or form of consent for sexual advances from men — is rape culture.
Modesty doesn’t protect women from sexual advances, harassment, or assault. It only excuses the behavior of male perpetrators by proposing a “solution” contingent on women’s action (and enabling men’s inaction).
The obvious answer as to why this issue persists has its roots in the patriarchy. Modesty, piety, and “leaving something to the imagination” are all components that act as forces to maintain male control over female presentation.
Oftentimes, it seems “modesty” isn’t even the true concern of the men preaching it. It’s simply weaponized to justify the policing of women’s bodies and selfhood.
Female Retaliation
Female modesty doesn’t thwart the apparently uncontrollable sexual impulses of men, a fallacy quietly honored in elements of dress codes, church life, and gendered social expectations. So why are women assuming responsibility for an issue that ultimately falls on men’s unwillingness to change their behavior?
Similarly, why is modesty promoted as a tool for women’s safety? Why aren’t we addressing the larger issues that make modesty necessary for women to feel safe?
Instead of “protecting” women, mandated modesty cultivates a sexualized perception of women centered in bodily shame.
Hope isn’t lost, though! Many Gen-Z women have found freedom by decentering men’s opinions and the modesty standards associated with their gaze.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about style, body type, and how female beauty standards — which the male gaze inherently dictates — tend to simultaneously restrict women’s fashion choices while ostracizing anyone who’s not white and skinny.
Something that’s been helpful for us both, reflected in the larger fashion trends of our generation, is reducing male control over women’s appearance by de-emphasizing standards that aren’t built for most of us.
For many, disregarding conventions around modest clothing is part of that.
Free the Nipple!
Fashion choices that emphasize women’s empowerment and personal style are beginning to replace internalized shame and sexualization of the body.
Oftentimes, this means outright rejection of the ideals outlined by modesty, traditional femininity, and the male gaze.
One Gen-Z fashion choice that emphasizes these goals is ditching bras. Women going braless combat the hyper-sexualization of female anatomy and challenge clothing’s existence within the rigid bounds of modesty.
Other aesthetics — like Y2K with its low-rise jeans, microskirts, and cropped baby tees — similarly emphasize expression over convention.
It’s important to realize that Gen-Z women aren’t abandoning modesty entirely. It’s just not stifling female fashion to the same degree as a central factor in women’s choice of dress.
Instead, young women are sidelining how their bodies are contextualized through the patriarchal lens of modesty in favor of freedom and comfort.
How can Women Reclaim their Bodies?
Whenever I wear a skirt or mini dress, someone is bound to ask me, “Are you wearing shorts underneath that?” Needless to say, modesty remains a popular social expectation looming over women’s bodily autonomy.
Women shouldn’t have to embrace modesty to feel safe or comfortable in their skin.
By displacing modesty as a “requirement” for a respectable woman’s wardrobe, individuals create space for personal style goals and diminish male control in the realm of appearance.
Whether you like to wear maxi skirts or microshorts, the choice of dress should be left up to the wearer.
The individual should choose to dress modestly (or immodestly), uncorrupted by the opinions of men, social expectations, or the enduring force of rape culture.
