Are you transitioning to a new stage in your life? Is it causing you never ending stress? I’ve felt that, and I’m here to help lift your load by cutting it in half.
September brings new beginnings, but that does not mean our old baggage won’t follow. As a college student going into my final year, I have made it to the stage of adulthood that asks questions like, “What now?” and that one simple question is driving me crazy.
As an adult, I must go to my classes, be an active member of my communities, and pay the bills – all with a smile on my face. I can tell you now, I’m not smiling. The duty to complete all that is asked of you weighs heavily and can become too loud. Eventually, that loudness can lead to stress. I mean an anxious, nauseous, sweaty palms, icky kind of stress. I was running on a dream and autopilot.
My stress has not only infected my mind, my internal processes, but also my external processes – my skin. I procrastinated, doom scrolled, locked myself in my room, cried, etc. I no longer had the capacity to show up for myself in the ways that I needed. That was problematic and wasn’t doing me any services. However, I am glad to have been trained in socio-emotional skills. Those skills allowed me to find what skills I personally needed.
The good news is that the first part of dealing with stress is over – you have successfully searched for help. Now I’m here to help with the second part – actionable steps that will help you alleviate your symptoms. We are going to “start over” with how we approach our stress, but more directly, how starting over can reset ourselves to create better outcomes.
Nobody can make you do anything until you feel it’s time. I can’t dig you out of this hole, but I can be here for you in this way, so when you’re ready, here it is. And I know we just talked about how your list was already so long, so here are some short and long term activities I have done to manage my stress in a helpful way, and hopefully it helps you too.
Short term
Take a few deep breaths
I know a very generic idea, but it works if you let it. I like to hold my breath for 10 seconds, breathe in and out on counts of 5, then repeat. This has helped me to calm my racing heart and bring it back to a reasonable state. It’s okay to let yourself breathe, despite what your circumstances allow. I understand, trust me. I have been desperate. So when I tell you to breathe, I am asking you to make the intention to realign yourself. You cannot help yourself if you are stuck in the negative. To take action, you must take care of yourself.
Dance Therapy
You need to get up and move. Sitting down can only do so much. It might feel useless to get up and move, but your body needs a reset. This doesn’t have to be the most perfectly choreographed dance; you just need to move. Even if that means turning on a song and doing the wave. You need to force yourself to do a task like this that you don’t want to do, simply to feel better. And I’ll tell you right now, I’ve laughed at myself and said “this is so stupid” maybe once or twice, but at least I did it for me.
Walk
If you don’t want to dance, then you can walk. Getting sun is also very important to supply your body with the nutrients it needs to keep your emotional regulation and wellbeing intact. So, go sightseeing, make yourself a tourist, and visit places that are free. It’ll allow you to clear your thoughts and distract you from the hustle and bustle of life. I love walking around Newbury, Beacon Hill shops, or the Charles River Esplanade.
Long term
Make a habit
For stress management, we want to work on building sustainable practices we can keep for these times. So we must understand that while a habit is hard to create, once we make our mental health practices a habit, it will be easier to maintain later. I hate working out, but I do it because it’s good for me both mentally and physically. This is what I need to continue my day. Make a habit that you’ll do every day that especially helps at times like these, when you might not even be motivated to get out of bed.
Have a hobby
Do you have games on your phone? The answer does not have to be yes, but hopefully, you are finding some other medium to have fun. And you may ask, what does this have to do with stress management? Games and hobbies are the key to not only giving creative ways to solve problems, but they are also a fun outlet. By telling you to play games, I am seeking out your creative nature. One fun thing I did when I was stressed was create a bingo board – I had fun things I wanted to accomplish and things I had to do included on one board. When I got Bingo, I would give myself a nice treat. A square could literally be – workout. As long as the task was productive, it worked.
Food
I just love eating and good food. Food can almost always lift my mood, and a great plus is that we can design our food to be yummy and support our emotional regulation. One of my go-to meals would include carrots covered in soy sauce, oil, and rice vinegar – so good. Carrots are a great source of beta-carotene that aids in reducing emotional distress.
Boston resources
Please use your school’s resources because they are there for the specific purpose of helping you. You deserve for your life to be a little easier. Boston has an abundance of centers and projects to help those dealing with financial, emotional, and nutritional struggles. I am going to use some of these resources because I do not have the bandwidth to be this stressed all of the time.
SNAP
SNAP provides low income individuals and families with the ability to purchase food. So if you are struggling with food insecurity, please fill out their form on their website. We can’t think if we can’t fuel.
Reduced fair MBTA pass
There is an income eligible reduced fare card that is for low income individuals from 18-64. It requires you to be enrolled in programs like SNAP to be considered. Another program is the youth pass, which is also income selective. I have used the youth pass, and it allows you to get on the train for $1.10, which is significantly lower than the $2.40 Boston fare. Many colleges also have reduced passes, so looking into that would be helpful to beat the many requirements that these two programs ask for.
Food pantries
Many colleges and universities have a food pantry that you can go to for food, so I highly recommend using yours. Boston also has a food bank website that gives you access to see where your closest food pantry may be.
Mental health advisor
If you just need someone to talk to when you are having a hard time, please look into ULifeline — an online mental health platform that partners with universities to provide support across the US. If you find that they aren’t partnered with your university, don’t fret. Many universities have their own mental health clinic that you can personally use.
For more resources in the Massachusetts area, please check out Mass 211.
There is also a nonprofit organization, like Action for Boston Community Development, ABCD, or the Boston Public Library, that can help you find resources that match you. Feel free to also use your financial and socio-emotional resources provided by your college. It is a very brave and strong thing to ask for help when you need it because you do. You are just as important as everyone else, so don’t miss out on resources because you are prioritizing everyone else getting it. Colleges and states have more than enough to give to everyone, so reach out.
Resetting
As I have said, the first step is done, and you have read a little bit about the second step. Now all you have to do is implement. I am not asking you to let go of everything because that would be impossible, but by trying to start over, I’m hoping you can reframe the way you are looking at things.
My steps in this article may be rudimentary, but sometimes we need another push to finally do something for ourselves. Remember today you can dance and breathe, tomorrow I hope that you play. There are many things you can do to help yourself through your stress and transition. Go explore other things that make you feel like yourself.
There are people who care about you and want to listen to what you have to say. Please advocate for yourself and speak to those who can help. Even making a friend through clubs or hobby groups, some of which can be found on Reddit, would help lighten your load. I know it’s really bad right now, but I promise this isn’t forever. Thank you for taking a breath with me.
