Trigger Warning: This article discusses distressing psychological experiences but not limited to self-harm and suicidal ideation. Please read with care.
If you, or a loved one you know, has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), then these are some unusual or even scary symptoms linked to BPD that you – or they – have most likely experienced.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition where people feel emotions really deeply and often struggle to manage them. It can cause intense mood swings, fear of being abandoned, trouble with relationships, and impulsive actions.
Some people with BPD may also deal with self-harm or suicidal thoughts. It can feel overwhelming, but with the right support—like therapy—things can get better, despite those scary symptoms.
What we don’t tell you
The common symptoms of BPD that everyone knows about are the episodes, lacking emotional regulation, and fear of abandonment. What we don’t tell you are the scary symptoms related to BPD that we face.
Disturbing mental experiences
- Dissociation: Feeling like you’re watching your life from outside your body, like you’re floating, or like nothing around you is real.
- Paranoia: Feeling like people are out to get you, judging you, or secretly talking about you even if you can’t explain why.
- Hearing vague whispers or voices: Often hearing your name called, mumbling, or eerie sounds no one else hears during emotional overwhelm.
- Seeing fleeting shadows or figures: Quick, vague hallucinations out of the corner of your eye, especially during extreme stress.
- Feeling watched or followed: A creeping, irrational sense that someone’s observing you, even in safe places.
Scary physical sensations
- Feeling like bugs are crawling on or under your skin: Also known as tactile hallucinations, which can happen in high-stress or dissociative states.
- Sudden numbness, tingling, or body shutdown: Your body may freeze, shake, or go numb this is often misinterpreted as a physical health crisis.
- Feeling like your face or body is unfamiliar: You look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself, or your limbs feel detached.
- Feeling like your voice isn’t yours: Like someone else is talking or your voice sounds “off” to you.
Emotional storms that feel terrifying
- Explosive anger or rage: It builds fast and can feel completely uncontrollable, even if you don’t act on it.
- Deep, unbearable emptiness: A numb, hollow feeling that’s hard to put into words but feels like you’re disappearing inside.
- Rapid mood shifts: Feeling joyful, then hopeless or suicidal within hours — a rollercoaster you didn’t choose to ride.
- Sudden urges to self-destruct: Impulses to do something harmful, even when you don’t fully understand why.
Finding our way through the storm
As someone who struggles with BPD I have always experienced these symptoms but never said it outloud. I was afraid that these symptoms weren’t normal, however through therapy and research I learned that it is part of the diagnosis.
Knowing that it’s “normal” to experience these symptoms as someone with BPD doesn’t exactly solve anything-but it certainly helps knowing you’re not alone! Grounding is one of the best things to do when experiencing these symptoms that can feel scary.
BPD can be managed with mindfulness techniques, especially for overcoming symptoms that may seem scary.
What really helps me in these situations is reminding myself how it feels to be present, here are some skills that help me:
- Taking deep steady breaths while I close my eyes
- Identifying one thing I can smell, touch, taste, see, and hear
- Squeezing an ice cube in my fist or splashing cold water on my face
- A lot of self talk, “You’re okay girl lets take a minute and reassess”
The calm after the storm – where do we go from here?
Experiencing some of these symptoms can be really scary. More often than not it leaves us feeling spooked, anxious, or worried. It’s important to process each symptom as it comes and finding a healthy outlet to let go of the hurt.
I understand that reaching out to loved ones can be challenging for those experiencing scary symptoms due to BPD. However, having a good support system can really help with coping.
If you are not ready to talk out loud try journaling! This is a great way to process symptoms and eventually understand where they come from and why-what triggers certain situations.
Try these journaling prompts:
- What triggered the symptom?
- What did it feel like?
- What helped (or didn’t)?
- What do you want to remind yourself if it happens again?
Tracking your symptoms over time can reveal patterns and help you feel more in control.
Let go of the shame
Once you have processed the symptom it is important to let go of any shame or fear associated with it. Letting go, moving on, and being prepared for possibly another episode or symptom.
Shame and guilt are emotions heavily attached to BPD. It is normal for someone struggling to be afraid to talk about these symptoms in fear of rejection or judgement. This is a fact but it should not stop you or a loved one from getting help and learning how to manage these symptoms.
Shame grows stronger in silence, so speaking it aloud helps lessen its grip. Whether you write it down, say it in therapy, or share it with someone safe, naming your shame gives you power over it. Even saying, “I feel ashamed right now,” creates space between you and the emotion.
Shame is not who you are—it’s something you learned to feel. Many people with BPD grew up in environments where their emotions were invalidated or punished. The intense shame you carry often comes from being made to feel “too much” or “not enough,” not from anything inherently wrong with you.
If you are really struggling to overcome these symptoms I would highly recommend speaking to a specialist.
You are not alone, there is an entire community of people with BPD who understand. Don’t be afraid or hard on yourself. Remember to keep your head up and do not let these symptoms define who you are.
