If you read that Gen Z has been classified as a “Puritan” generation, you won’t believe it, right? It’s the generation that are forerunners of ‘hookup culture’ and ‘situationships.’ I’m sure our best friends are probably tired of telling us, “Do NOT do it for the plot.” And, ‘they’re the best sex I had’ does not cut it anymore.
Unfortunately or fortunately, it is true. Gen Z is being categorized as the generation that has had the least amount of sex. Some say it is because Gen Z is less likely to make drunken mistakes (sorry, millennials).
Let’s get on a serious note, do we ever wonder why this is happening?
I conducted a survey of Gen Z university students, asking them to anonymously write about their experiences and feelings surrounding sex. One of the most obvious reasons that came up is that Gen Z has many anxieties surrounding sex!
There are so many narratives going around sex, but let’s get one thing right: sex is personal. Nothing can be done without one’s consent. And sometimes, people never have any interest or feel like having sex. Abstinence is great, and our asexual folks also exist.
But for people who are interested in having sex but often abstain from it or have negative experiences, why does this happen? Gen Z is said to be more liberal and more open about engaging in conversations surrounding sex. Wasn’t ‘Sex Education’ the favorite show for so many people?
Gen Z’s sex anxieties are not always a result of a lack of sex education for themselves. Sometimes, it’s their own negative experience and their mental health. Let’s take a deeper look at these reasons!
Performance Anxiety
Performance anxiety during sex means that a person’s negative thoughts affect their ability to perform well during sex. In easier words, it means a person might be constantly worried if they will be able to please their partner(s) in bed.
Sex is more than just a physical activity. In reality, it requires you to be comfortable with the vulnerability that sex involves. People are often worry that, “Will I be able to please my partner?”, “How do I look when I’m in bed?” or, “Will I orgasm?”. One of the most common fears is,
“I’m inexperienced”
None of these concerns are invalid. Engaging in sexual intimacy puts you in a vulnerable position. One way to work around performance anxiety is to communicate with your partner. Yes, communication throughout sex is important, not just for foreplay and dirty talk. Building trust and security with your partner(s) will help ease some of the anxieties. And never shy away from reaching out to professional support because sexual well-being is just as important as any other.
Hookup Culture
Are you tired of seeing people saying, “looking for something casual” on their dating app profile? That is assumed to be a nice way of saying someone just wants to have fun and hook up (Yes, not always).
In my survey, I asked people, “Is there anything in the current status quo that makes you feel like not wanting to have sex?”
“The general culture surrounding sex and so many people being really insincere about it.”
“The idea of sex as a casual hookup. It makes it pretty mundane, practical and unromantic for me.”
“How forced ‘dates’ (inevitably just sex) feel on dating apps.”
Doesn’t sound pretty, right? Of course, the libido would become non-existent after experiencing and listening to such experiences.
Yes, casual sex can be great! But one needs to communicate their intentions beforehand. Sex has so many different meanings for everyone, depending on their personal preference. However, it is important to communicate your needs and intentions with your partner. If they don’t consent to a casual hookup, no, you don’t need to ‘force dates’ to see if it works out.
The Mental Health Crisis
Depression levels are said to be at an all-time high, especially for Gen Z. Almost 8 in 10 members of Gen Z are struggling with depression or anxiety. A study showed that over 33% of men and 42% of women who struggled with depression had some form of sexual dysfunction. Sexual dysfunction is any difficulty experienced by any individual during any stage of normal sexual activity, which includes physical pleasure, desire, arousal, or orgasm. Most people on medications such as antidepressants report a decreased sex drive or trouble reaching an orgasm.
When things are so stressful, how is one supposed to enjoy or even think about sex in these circumstances? Some respondents to the survey said
“Life is overwhelming. it’s hard to be free and passionate about Sex”
“I have so much stress and work that my libido is at an all time low.”
Sex is not just physical, but it is also about emotions, even if it is just a one-night stand.
Self Pleasure!
Your best bet is to take matters into your own hands! You don’t need to worry about STIs or any pregnancy scare. And we have progressed past the myth that masturbation is only for men.
Masturbation is healthy and it helps get in touch with your own body. It will help you understand what you like, what feels good, and what doesn’t feel good. The best part is that it’s only you, and you have all the time and ease in the world to figure it out. Once you know your likes and are comfortable, you can think of communicating your likes and dislikes to your partner(s).
Masturbation is not for sex, it’s for you. Masturbation helps ease stress because it releases endorphins. It’s also said to help you sleep better. If you are someone who menstruates, it helps reduce those nasty cramps too.
If you didn’t already know this, masturbation is a form of cardio, so you might not even need your pre-gym cardio.
Is Gen Z Really ‘Missing Out’?
Sex is personal. It is yours. No one else should have any power to influence how you feel about it. But is Gen Z really missing out on sex? Maybe or maybe not. More open conversations about sex are allowing people to have more autonomy over their bodies and choices. So maybe you love having sex, or maybe you just have many other priorities or things on your plate – Both are totally okay!
No one needs to have sex all the time, or have sex at all!
End of the day, sexual liberation is about having autonomy over your sexuality, whether it is having sex or not having sex.
