‘Wokefishing’ is the new dating trend that has young progressives shaking their heads.
Your new dreamboat has #TheFutureisFemale in his Instagram bio, retweets Bernie and AOC, and vocally condemns anti-maskers. He even claims to have sworn off fast fashion. But, right when things begin to get serious, his liberal layers start to peel back. He cringes when meeting your gay friends and rolls his eyes when you mention rape culture. He makes derisive comments about immigrants and displays more outrage at protest looting than police brutality. And, despite talking a big game on social media, you’ve never seen him actually do anything about the issues he claims to be so passionate about. Hell, he might not even be registered to vote! Lo and behold, you soon realize that the activist persona he’s smeared onto social media is nothing but a facade.
Coined by Vice writer Serena Smith, wokefishing describes an increasingly common dating conundrum: rather than be upfront about conservative beliefs, some modern daters are opting to “masquerade as holding progressive political views to ensnare potential partners.” If you lean left, you may have experienced this phenomenon. And, if you haven’t, you probably know someone who has.
The term plays on ‘catfishing,’ another slang word birthed on the internet. Catfishing occurs every day on dating sites and apps, so it’s no surprise its political cousin has begun to appear on the same forums. According to Pew Research, 48% of 18-to-29-year-olds say they’ve used a dating site or app. Several of these platforms, like OkCupid and Bumble, allow users to state political affiliation in their profiles and, for an extra fee, filter matches based on it. The virtual speed-dating style of many of these applications could be an incentive for wokefishing—some might feel branding their profile with the word “liberal” could give them more matches in an online world where progressivism is becoming increasingly trendy.
Wokefish chose to melt into the online woke culture to optimize their dating chances, instead of just searching for a partner with similar beliefs. Evidently, some feel that the only way to lure in a romantic partner or score sexually is to pretend to care about social justice like a middle schooler might pretend to like soccer just because their crush is a goalie. Because of this, wokefishing is not only a performative form of activism but a pandering one.
If you find yourself in this situation, it can be difficult to decide how to proceed. However, your parents are right—actions do speak louder than words. Just because someone says they live and breathe social justice doesn’t mean they actually do, and it doesn’t mean they’ll support your choice to. If your boo’s behavior exposes a set of ideologies you didn’t know you were signing up for, it’s time to consider whether your differing beliefs can coexist without breeding resentment. Or, maybe more importantly, consider why he or she felt they had to cover up their real politics in the first place, and whether staying with this person might be doing both of you more harm than good.
