Having an ex is unenjoyable enough as it is. For some, looking back on the memories of being in the relationship may not be so bad. For others, it’s like rekindling a traumatic flame after healing and having a laugh over it. TikTok users have adopted a new trend where people admit to the horrendous things their ex did to them, and they still stay.
Typically, people don’t share with their friends all of the horrible things they’ve endured during the relationship. Most of the time, they do that well after the relationship is over. The reason that’s the default time when someone feels comfortable sharing sensitive information is because it can feel embarrassing.
Admitting to others, especially the people who care about you the most, that you endured so much disrespect throughout the relationship and still stayed feels like a betrayal to yourself and them.
The ex TikTok trend
A trend has been circulating on TikTok. People are making a list of the morally grey, and frankly, borderline abusive things their ex did to them while they were dating, and they still stayed in the relationship.
This trend can be a way of coping with the trauma of that relationship. Being able to point out the issues and admit to not dealing with it correctly is a huge step in healing. It’s mainly people who have gone through heinous relationship trauma who are willing to participate in this trend.
It’s actually quite normal for people to keep all of the bad instances that occurred during the relationship to themselves. Once they snap out of the trance that their toxic partner has them in, they have no problem revealing all of the horrible things their ex has done. It’s a universal experience that I also went through.
Real-life experience
TikTok creator Mekenzie Hawker bravely shares all of the jaw-dropping things her ex did to her during their relationship. One of the more shocking things her ex did was constantly look through her private text messages with family members. We’ve all heard of an ex looking through messages with someone they think their partner is cheating on them with, but reading through messages with family is insane.
Some other things her ex has done is mock her by posing like her in Mekenzie’s Instagram stories and posting mocking selfies. He would also get angry at her, turn off his location and go to his ex-girlfriend’s house. If that isn’t the definition of toxic, then I don’t know what is.
The things Mekenzie’s ex-boyfriend did is beyond appalling. Unfortunately, she’s not the only woman to experience someone that seems like they dug themselves out of hell just to emotionally torture people.
Nadya Okamoto, a popular creator on TikTok, and three of her friends chose to share some of the most shocking and disturbing things all of their ex’s did.
One of their ex’s locked them out of their home while they were working to demonstrate how abandoned their ex felt. Another girl reveals that her now ex-boyfriend enjoys how much she looks like his mother. That might be one of the more questionable things I’ve heard.
It’s almost like these men they were dating didn’t even like them. Evidently that is not normal behavior. It’s clear that there are people out there who need to take a step back from dating and focus on themselves.
Why stay in the relationship?
By this point, it’s very common to ask yourself, “why on earth would these women stay with someone who did that to them?” Listening to someone reveal the utter disrespect they faced during their relationship will elicit that reaction.
An important thing to think about is the potential reason why someone would remain in a situation similar to those women. There are a few psychological reasons behind that.
An article written by Dr. Roxy Zarrabi touches on all the potential reasons someone would stay in an unhealthy relationship. She points out that the reason people tend to stay in toxic relationships is because they’ve already invested so much time into them. Leaving may seem like they wasted so much time, so they’d rather stay and be unhappy.
A relatable point she makes is that you may still be attached to the person’s potential or who they used to be. The start of the relationship is always the best. The person you’re dating is doing everything possible to make you happy. Once you get more comfortable, that’s when the true colors come out. Even I’ve tried to excuse certain behavior from men thinking they will revert back to their old selves.
Dr. Zarrabi doesn’t fail to make pertinent points. She mentions a universal experience of mistaking chemistry for compatibility. The initial spark is not always a sign that this person is right for you. It’s only after you and your partner build a solid foundation that you realize this person may or may not be for you.
Confiding in friends and family can occasionally result in you being convinced to stay. We always hear “relationships are meant to be hard.” With that statement being engraved in our minds, we are unsure to which extent relationships should be hard.
An argument here and there is normal; it’s even considered healthy. There is a limit to it though. Constantly fighting and dealing with any sort of abuse is not a sign of a good relationship.
Final thoughts
The TikTok trend of revealing what your ex did and you still stayed is entertaining to watch. It evokes so many thoughts and emotions. Initially it makes watchers laugh in shock, and in turn, it makes people really think about toxic relationships. You wonder why anyone would stay is such a rough situation, especially when it comes to constantly being disrespected.
People who are brave enough to expose the rough and embarrassing side of their past relationships deserve a metal. It’s tough having to tell people about the mistreatment while dating that person, but telling friends and family after the fact is even harder.
The trend may be solely entertaining, but it’s also a way for people who are in unhealthy relationships to have the strength to leave. Knowing what other people have gone through can help them get out of that situation.
Don’t be afraid to leave a bad relationship. Their feelings are never worth risking damaging your mental or physical health.
Are you over your toxic ex and want to get back in the dating game but you’re scared of getting rejected? Read this article to ease your worries.
