Online dating has become a staple for most Gen Z relationship seekers. However, the rise in dating app usage has brought on a plethora of problems for young daters. This leads many to wonder: Are dating apps even worth it?
As social media gained traction, our social interactions shifted online. With that, our romantic interactions shifted to a digital surface. Dating apps have become extremely popular for younger generations who want to find their soulmate from the comfort of their couch.
It seems as though a new dating app is released every year, promising to be the next cure for your chronic singleness. You can switch between several apps on your phone, like an FBI agent, and still achieve minimal success. Why is it so hard to find “the one” in this digital age?
Trouble in paradise
While everyone is using dating apps, many people aren’t finding overwhelming success in their romantic lives. In fact, your chances of having a negative experience are essentially a coin flip, with 46% of users saying their experience has been negative.
This negativity can range from just a lack of success to serious safety risks. There have been many cases of people being stalked and harassed by people they have met through dating apps. This has led many people to completely cut out dating apps.They simply aren’t willing to risk their safety for a 50/50 shot at success.
The problem with dating apps is that they prioritize instant gratification over a deeper connection. Apps make it easy for you to flip between profiles like you’re flipping through a magazine, circling the things you want to add to your wish list and moving on to the next. This causes people to be extremely superficial rather than actually connect with the person. The quickness of interactions is what can lead people to meet some less-than-stellar individuals.
Uses of dating apps
Another issue that arises with dating apps is a lack of clarity on what people are looking for. The truth is, not everyone is looking for a committed relationship; some people are just looking for a casual hookup. The most popular apps each have a different “vibe” of what they are used for.
Tinder
This is the dreaded hookup app. It’s is the app of choice for the horny frat bros that can’t talk to you in person. If you’re just looking for something casual, you might enjoy it.
Bumble
This is the app where you go in looking for a romantic partner and leave with some friends. Great for socializing, but not for finding love.
Hinge
This is definitely one of the more relationship-focused apps. However, the frat bros who haven’t found success on Tinder have migrated here. Now, it’s 50/50.
eHarmony
This is PERFECT to find a long-term committed relationship…if you are over the age of 45. Seriously, I have never heard of a single young person using this.
Even when you think you’ve found a good app for your relationship needs, it is still riddled with people who simply aren’t on the same page as you.
What’s the alternative?
The overall ineffectiveness of dating apps makes many people feel hopeless about their romantic situations. However, just because dating apps are popular doesn’t mean they are the only way to find love. It just might require putting in a little more effort.
Join a Club
If you are looking for someone with shared interests, consider joining a local club or group. You might be surprised to find some great connections after one event. Even if you don’t end up finding your soulmate, it isn’t a complete waste of time. You get to do something you love and meet others who enjoy it as well.
Speed Dating
If you live near a larger city, consider participating in a speed dating event. Most cities have organized speed dating events that you can join throughout the year. You could even turn it into an event with friends. Maybe you’ll find the love of your life, or maybe you’ll have a really funny story to tell. Either way, it is a way to put yourself out there in a safe, controlled environment.
Social Media Dating: If you still want to date from your couch, you don’t have to cave to the dating apps. Go on Instagram and look through your mutuals. You might be surprised to find some perfect candidates who your friends already know. All you have to do is send that follow request and wait for a follow back.
Keep it safe!
Whenever you start seeing someone, no matter where you found them, it is important to do it in a manner that makes you feel as safe as possible. One simple way to do this is to always have the first date in a public space. Pick somewhere that both of you can meet and make sure your friends or family know where you will be. The first date should be to see if you like someone, not to give them exclusive access to everything in your life.
The most important thing is to take your time with dating. Get to know the person before you progress. Set boundaries early and don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something that makes you uncomfortable.
Remember, your future partner is out there somewhere. Don’t waste your time and energy on people who make you feel uncomfortable. When you find someone who truly makes you happy, whether you met them on Tinder or at the library, the connection is what is important.
