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Detroit Resident Opens His Front Door To Find His Porch Has Been Stolen

Really? His porch?

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Theft can happen anywhere and anytime—but you’d think there are some things that people just won’t (or can’t) steal. 

And I think most would agree that one of those ‘un-stealable’ things is a porch; after all, who would go through the trouble of stealing a porch? It seems like quite the undertaking.

Unfortunately, Detroit resident Antonio Silva woke up to this very situation—the theft of his porch—in late May.

That’s right. Somebody actually took his porch.

Silva took to Facebook to share his surprise and frustration:

Guy Opens His Door, Falls Down Huge Hole Because Someone Stole His Porch unnamed 19

Silva’s humorous account quickly went viral, amassing thousands of likes and shares—so there may be a sort of silver lining here (albeit a slim silver lining; Silva still hasn’t managed to track down his missing porch).

After Silva’s story gained ground online, he spoke to UNILAD about the whole ordeal, and he seems to have just about the best attitude you could hope for after someone steals your porch: “I never felt so confused with my life laying in the dirt as I was trying to tell my self ‘is this even possible?’ I got a good laugh and a bruise out of it.”

Silva believes that his “crazy ex-girlfriend” stole his porch because he didn’t invite her to a recent house party. Here’s her response to the accusation, via Silva: “YOU SOUND DUMB, WHO THE F*CK WOULD STEAL A PORCH?”

Regardless of who stole the porch, I think we all just want it to be returned to Silva safe and sound.

As strange as this theft is, there are weirder stories out there. For one, check out these criminals who stole 30,000 condoms and $15,000 worth of of sex toys frm a Las Vegas warehouse.

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