They say that home is where the heart is. If you’re lucky, your heart comes with you to college, allowing you to create a new home there.
For some, your heart will remain in the place you grew up, with your family or your favorite street. Maybe your heart is scattered — some of it resides in your dorm room, while the rest visits your high school from time to time. Either way, it can feel strange for college students to return to that once-familiar place after navigating independence and a new place.
Now, I’m no expert in the subject. But, I do know a good bit about nostalgia and the role it plays in your time at home.
Talking to my friends, I have discovered that we feel ourselves change when we come back to our hometown. Something shifts, and suddenly we like all of the things we liked in our teens; we visit the old haunts, and we miss the old relationships. In the hit show How I Met Your Mother, they call this phenomenon “revertigo.”
For those of you looking forward to a summer at home, this article will describe things you can do to lean into the nostalgia and make “revertigo” more tolerable.
Coming back — what it’s like
The wide variety of personalities and parents make this question indefinite. For me, returning home has been a pleasant experience… but not without difficulties.
Being away at school creates a unique sense of agency and teaches you independence, potentially for the first time. Going back to an environment governed by parents and siblings minimizes your autonomy in things that often have to do with time- e.g., meal times, curfews, and bedtimes.
And, most likely, your family is overjoyed to have you home. But after a few nostalgic family dinners and movie nights, you may begin to long for College Town, USA. Of course, this is ridiculous in part. Who would want a dining hall dinner over home cooking?
As if that weren’t enough, facing the familiar posters that cover the walls of your childhood room can make you miss your past life. Back when you were discovering all of your favorite music, college was a far-away dream and everyone from elementary school was right down the street. As I’ve experienced it, coming home from school is largely conflicting.
Don’t worry, all is not lost.
If you’re itching to get out
Don’t think you’re a monster for feeling this way. Navigating this transition can be bumpy, and if you’ll be home for a long time, buckle up.
Here are some things you can do to help.
1. Practice small freedoms
Whether you have a car, a bike, two working legs, or otherwise; try and get out of the house at least once a day. Stroll around your neighborhood, drive far away while playing your favorite music, or explore the place you grew up through the fresh eyes of a young adult.
If you are operating on a family-meal basis, you could offer to cook or help with the groceries for the week. These slight actions can foster agency in your routine, making you feel a little less trapped in your past.
Being home over the summer can also be the harbinger of intense boredom. If you don’t have a job or continual task to keep you occupied, you may find yourself mindlessly rewatching The Office for hours on end. Though a lack of schoolwork may be all you wanted for the last ten months, that void can be difficult to fill.
It may be best to search for a new hobby, show, or musician to obsess over. Not only will this keep you mentally and physically busy, but it will also provide you with a new topic of conversation with friends and family where others were previously exhausted. After all, who doesn’t love to hear about the genius of Mitski or receive a brand-new pair of knitted gloves?
2. Rely on your friends
A bonus of being in college: meeting new people from different places. A disadvantage of being in college: meeting new people from different places. Splitting up for the summer can be isolating, and the physical distance can create emotional distance between you and your school friends. Try to schedule phone calls and meetups when you can to maintain those special connections for the fall semester.
If you’re lucky, your friends from home will also be in town on occasion. It’s likely they’ll have some cabin fever, too, and making frequent plans can break up that monotony. Also, being around old friends allows for conversation about the familiar place you call home. In my experience, it’s always better to vent to an understanding audience.
3. Lean into the nostalgia
I am a highly nostalgic person. Yes, I still have the receipt from when we saw that movie together, birthday cards from 2009, and that song in my library from when we first met. So, in my eyes, being home is like traversing an emotional landmine. I have not decided whether this is a good or bad thing, but I know that when I’m home I do enjoy accepting the rose-colored glasses every now and then.
For me, it’s all about the music and the places. I’ve finally achieved regular status at my favorite coffee shop from high school (WOO!); I waste half a tank driving down familiar streets and past my old schools at night, and I listen to my 2021 Replay on all occasions. Some may call this sad, but I find reminiscing on these good times cathartic.
However, this tip does have the potential to dredge up repressed memories. If college was your welcome escape, you can explore this in a different way. Maybe you go past your old schools with a certain finger high in the air or pointedly avoid places that make you sad. Maybe you take your new friends to places with bad memories and make new ones.
In any case, it is possible to make nostalgia work in your favor when visiting home.
Hopefully, one of these suggestions was enlightening for improving your upcoming days. HAGS!
