Funerals and the loss of a loved can be a difficult time for everyone, and many people don’t know how to act in these highly sensitive situations.
With this in mind, if you’re attending a funeral or another mourning ritual, there are certain behaviours that are best to avoid out of respect for the deceased person’s loved ones.
1. Making inappropriate jokes
If you’re the kind of person who copes with loss through laughter, it’s probably best not to make any inappropriate jokes to the family of the deceased.
Many people feel uncomfortable with death and are unsure when it comes to dealing with loved ones who are going through mourning, but maybe saves the jokes for after the funeral.
2. Going on your phone
It’s one thing to forget to switch off your mobile phone before a funeral, but actually going on your phone during the service is another level of inconsiderate.
Although this may seem obvious to many, Daniel Post Senning, an author and spokesperson for The Emily Post Institute, recalls being at the funeral of a friend’s father when someone’s phone began to ring in the middle of a eulogy.
3. Arriving late
It is commonly known that you should always try to arrive at a funeral service around 10-15 minutes before the service actually starts, this way you avoid interrupting people’s mourning and making a scene.
If you do happen to be running late, it’s always a good idea to try and make a discreet entrance, perhaps slipping in through a side door.
4. Slipping out early
Whilst it is important to avoid arriving late to a funeral, it is equally as important not to try and slip out of the service early. I can assure you it won’t go unnoticed.
You may not be particularly enjoying the ceremony, but staying for the duration allows you to properly pay your respects and condolences to the family of the deceased, even if the person wasn’t someone you were particularly close to.
5. Asking invasive questions
If you do get a chance to speak with the deceased person’s family, it is best to simply offer your condolences and comforts without asking any personal or prying questions regarding the death of their loved one.
Funerals are a celebration of a person’s life, so avoid taking the conversation towards the specifics of their death.
6. Posting on your social media
Although this may seem obvious, a funeral is not an opportunity to update your Instagram feed, nor is it appropriate to take photos during the funeral to increase your number of likes.
Etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore gives her opinion on this topic, stating that “If the family hasn’t given you permission to say anything on social media, then I would stay off”.
7. Respecting the dress code
While it is not always the case that wearing black formal wear to a funeral is compulsory, it is important to adhere to the dress code of whatever mourning ritual you are attending, depending on the religion.
For example, you may be invited to a funeral service that wishes to create a happier celebration of the deceased person’s life by wearing bright colours instead of black. Whatever the case may be, it is always best to respect the wishes of the deceased person’s family.
8. Being a distraction
During the funeral ceremony, you may not be familiar with the specific do’s and don’ts of behaving, so it is best to just follow what everyone else is doing.
Definitely don’t draw attention to yourself by chewing gum, obnoxiously blowing your nose, or making other distracting noises while people are trying to pay their respects.
To read about a slightly more unconventional funeral, check out this article at Trill Magazine.
