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Ryan Gosling: The Eternal Ex-Boyfriend

My goal this summer? Watch all of Ryan Gosling’s films. It has become apparent that Mr. Gosling is almost always someone’s ex in movies. Notoriously their ex, their friendzoned, their one who got away, or their on-again-off-again… This is an examination of Gosling’s career to figure out why everyone wants a lover (or at least a former one) like Ryan Gosling.

Ryan Gosling in a blue tux / Credit: Fred Duval / Shutterstock
Credit: Fred Duval / Shutterstock

The internet’s very first white-boy-of-the-week was Ryan Gosling. Few actors are quite as popular with both men and women across multiple generations for multiple different reasons. His range as a performer is expansive. Gosling is famous for being both the sensitive rom-com guy, the emotionally distant action movie guy, and even the musical theatre guy. Evidently, he has something for everyone in the 27 films he has starred in since 2000.

The Canadian actor is known for many things, but the things that most people recognize him for are:

  1. His three Oscar nomination.
  2. The “hey girl” meme.
  3. He was Ken in Barbie (2023).
  4. His horror-themed rock band, Dead Man’s Bones.
  5. The fact that he keeps doing movies with music or stunts and does most of his own musical performances and many of his own stunts.
  6. Recently, SNL’s Beavis and Butt-Head sketch.
Ryan Gosling and Mikey Day as Beavis and Butt-Head / Credit: Tinseltown/Shutterstock

Since he rose to the height of Y2K fame as Noah Calhoun in The Notebook (2004), Ryan Gosling has been truly inescapable. Guys want to be him, girls want to date him, and directors want to cast him. He is the guy that can do anything!

But if Ryan Gosling has all this range as a performer, why does he almost exclusively play ex-boyfriends?

Have you ever sat down and thought about how Gosling’s characters are predominately someone’s ex or friend-zone victim or their on-again-off-again? I had never noticed a pattern until this summer. My summer of Ryan Gosling. I devised a chart of all of his films and a rating scale for them. Then the chart was printed and stuck on my refrigerator. Steadily, I have been adding marks of completion to the list.

As I worked through this list, a pattern emerged. Ryan Gosling does in fact have a typecast and it seems to be “that ex you have favorable memories of. This is a mappable statistic. In at least 14 out of 27 films, Gosling plays an ex-boyfriend of sorts. So, in roughly half of his cinematography, it isn’t just a theme but almost a requirement.

The majority of Gosling’s characters appear to fall into one of these categories:

  1. Someone’s Ex-Boyfriend.
  2. The Perpetual Ex-Boyfriend.
  3. On-Again-Off-Again Boyfriend.
  4. Friendzoned.
  5. Widower.
  6. Divorced Dad.

Let’s break it down with one of each, plus a couple of extras.

Noah Calhoun – Someone’s Ex-Boyfriend

Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams in The Notebook (2004) / Credit: Robert Fraisse.
Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams in The Notebook (2004) / Credit: Robert Fraisse.

The first notorious example of the Gosling ex-boyfriend comes from The Notebook (2004). Loverboy Noah Calhoun is so down bad for his ex-girlfriend that he restores her a house with a wraparound porch and a painting room.

Does this move help get the girl back eventually? Yeah, of course, it does. They spend a large portion of the movie not in a relationship or broken up, even though the tagline for the film is literally “behind every great love is a great story.” If I had an ex that built me a wraparound porch, I would take him back too.

Jacob – The Perpetual Ex-Boyfriend

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011) / Credit: Andrew Dunn.
Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011) / Credit: Andrew Dunn.

Crazy, Stupid, Love. is the first of three films Ryan Gosling and frequent collaborator, Emma Stone, have made together. Jacob is the epitome of Perpetual Ex-Boyfriend. The film hinges on Jacob being an emotionally repressed pickup artist. He is so good at picking up ladies that Cal (Steve Carrell) enlists him to do a masterclass in how to talk to girls.

Unfortunately, Jacob is lousy at actually keeping a girl for more than a few days. Hannah (Stone) thinks she can fix him. Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling are three-for-three on having an “it’s complicated” relationship in their shared films.

Luke – The On-Again-Off-Again Boyfriend

Ryan Gosling in The Place Beyond the Pines (2012) / Credit: Sean Bobbitt.
Ryan Gosling in The Place Beyond the Pines (2012) / Credit: Sean Bobbitt.

In The Place Beyond the Pines, Gosling plays a mysterious criminal ex-boyfriend stunt motorcyclist with a heart of gold (which is such a Gosling-esque role). At the beginning of the film, Luke re-enters his ex-girlfriend, Romina’s (Eva Mendes), life only to discover she had a kid. His kid. As the film continues, Luke destroys his life and the lives of those around him in hopes of improving everyone’s quality of life.

Luke is definitely one of the quintessential Ryan Gosling ex-boyfriends. It is also, ironically, the film where Gosling met his wife, actress and author Eva Mendes.

Dean – Divorced Dad

Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine (2010) / Credit: Andrij Parekh.

Blue Valentine is the anatomy of a divorce on film. Dean and Cindy (Michelle Williams) are profiled in a non-linear fashion from the beginning of their relationship to its perceived end. The viewer walks with them from their first meeting through a decade of the ups and downs of a partnership.

The explicit objective of this movie is to show the opposite of a romanticized romance film. Instead, this one is bold, honest, and relatable. It also cracks the list of top Ryan Gosling exes because he is not just an ex-boyfriend but an ex-husband.

Ken – Friendzoned

Ryan Gosling in Barbie (2023) / Credit: Rodrigo Prieto.

In Barbie, Ken gets friend zoned so hard by a girl that never thought of him romantically that he started an evil patriarchal government.

For these boyfriend credits, Ryan’s character’s plot has to really center around the idea of his boyfriendism. The epic friendzoning in Barbie was Kenough to drive him mad, so I think it definitely counts.

Holland March – Widower

Ryan Gosling in The Nice Guys (2016) / Credit:
Philippe Rousselot
Ryan Gosling in The Nice Guys (2016) / Credit:
Philippe Rousselot.

Holland March in The Nice Guys (2016) is an absolute winner in the canon of Gosling characters. This widower, single dad, clumsy fool, boozer, and private eye juggles a lot of work and a lot of tragedy. With all of those things, the average viewer would not expect him to be one of the primary characters in a lighthearted comedy.

Gosling’s Mr. March is a delightful, complicated character that just wants to be a halfway decent dad. For a film as funny as The Nice Guys, this film is one of the best mediations on loneliness there is.

Colt Seavers – Someone’s Ex-Boyfriend

Ryan Gosling in 'The Fall Guy' / Credit: Jonathan Sela.
Ryan Gosling in The Fall Guy (2024) / Credit: Jonathan Sela.

Colt Seavers is Noah Calhoun on steroids. He was literally made for lovin‘ so goes The Fall Guy‘s soundtrack on repeat. Love is hard and requires a few bumps and bruises. It requires many bumps, bruises, scrapes, burns and gunshot wounds for this stunt guy.

In the film, Colt tells his ex, Jody (Emily Blunt) that he is willing to risk his life for the movie she’s directing because he wants an entire generation of young women to be inspired to pick up cameras and shoot films like her. This is the single most romantic thing ever said in a Gosling picture. I will be taking zero criticism on that.

Sgt. Jerry Wooters – On-Again-Off-Again Boyfriend

Ryan Gosling in Gangster Squad (2013) / Credit:
Dion Beebe.
Ryan Gosling in Gangster Squad (2013) / Credit: Dion Beebe.

Gangster Squad is a deeply bizarre film based on a true story about… vigilante police officers? Maybe? The plot doesn’t really matter between explosions, shootouts and ridiculous accents – the most ridiculous of all from Gosling.

It is also Gosling and Emma Stone’s second of three films together. They play a couple… debatably. Are they together? Are they not? Is it an act for social gain? Are they broken up? Who knows? Not me.

Sebastian Wilder – The Ultimate Ex-Boyfriend

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in La La Land (2016) / Credit: Linus Sandgren.
Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in La La Land (2016) / Credit: Linus Sandgren.

La La Land (2016) is basically the musical version of Blue Valentine (2010) for people who think schools should have better arts funding. Emma Stone and Gosling’s most recent film together is a post-mortem of what could have been between their characters Mia and Sebastian.

Sebastian Wilder is a a pretentious asshole jazz musician that fluctuates between being a romantic and absolutely the worst. He is a walking red flag and simultaneously completely lovable. Sebastian has all the qualities of a person’s most memorable ex-boyfriend. He is more than the one who got away, but there is no decent way for him and Mia to stay together. Yes, they are often amazing together, but even better apart. La La Land is not afraid to remind you of all the beautiful things that can happen when you stop texting your ex.

Why is Ryan Gosling Always an Ex-Boyfriend, Though?

I think that if most people have to suffer the horrors of a breakup, it is nice to imagine that person on the other end of it is as dashing, charming and whimsical as Ryan Gosling. We could all do with a little more of that in our lives, even if it is just for a little while.

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twenty-three year old lover of film, books and rock n roll

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