Alright everyone, listen up, this shit is hilarious. I know we’re all tired of talking about COVID-19. Oh coronavirus in all its glory, it seems those five syllable will be slipping down our tongues like a hard penis for a long time.
Did that make you uncomfortable? A little horny? If you answered yes to the second question you’re in luck. A new book has been released, Kissing the Coronavirus, which depicts extremely pornographic language surrounding coronavirus.
I can’t make this shit up. The plot is simple, a scientist named Alex is tasked with curing the virus but instead falls in love with it. Or him for that matter. It’s like a deadly virus version of 50 Shades of Gray.
As curious as you are now to read it there are some award winning quotes already trending on Twitter from the novel. Here goes:
The author goes by M.J. Edwards and obviously saw this era as an opportunity. An opportunity to take a sexy take on a deadly virus that simultaneously killed millions of people and tanked the economy in less than a year. He has a mustache apparently though, so that makes up for it. Right?
I’m laughing are you laughing… So obviously your next questions should be well gosh Zoë where can I pick up a copy so I can have a frisky afternoon with myself? Of course I’ll tell you! Cheapest I found it was Amazon for $6.45. It’s even free if you have Kindle Unlimited.
I am one of those girls who read 50 Shades of Gray, yes. Was it just a book of toxic masculinity and abuse masking itself in some sort of female fantasy that makes girls want to be used and make irrational decisions. Yes. Did I get flustered. Absolutely. despite this book being about something we’ve grown to hate, maybe it will help start a new conversation surrounding coronavirus– a sexy one.
I would just like to take a moment to remind everyone to just have a laugh. The world is so serious these days. We’re all trying to solve the world’s problems that just can’t be solved right now. What we fail to remember is that we’re all in this together. Through global pandemics, global warming, economic booms and busts, and even sexual kinks that include a green, sexy man. We all have our vice.
If your vice happens to be weed, much like a lot of people, (sorry for all of you that live somewhere where weed is still illegal– losers) new research has come out that THC could potentially treat COVID-19. Let’s all get high and horny!
Image via Amazon.com
