“Happy New Year!” is what I would’ve said almost 5 months ago. I know a lot of us are used to new year, new me-ing and popping the bottle, even though the last time you actually felt like doing something was the day the sun started clocking out earlier and earlier. The winter blues are definitely something. It’s always fun to think about your goals and how you’ll feel when you achieve them, but when the time comes to do the work, you’d much rather have that sweet treat or splurge because of that limited-time free shipping. How could something so beautiful and beneficial feel so mundane in the process?
The science
Well, it’s quite literally human nature. According to this research study by Dr. David R. Hamilton, your brain cannot distinguish between imagining and doing. See, in this study, one group of participants practiced piano for five days, another thought about doing so, and the last, the control group, did neither. All sets had the region of the brain that controls the finger muscles scanned. The results showed that the first two had almost identical activity compared to the control. Basically, by thinking about what you want to achieve, your brain thinks you already did it. It released the same neurotransmitters that you would’ve felt when you achieved it.
Unfortunately, you are painfully aware of the difference. You might think, “Why doesn’t the process excite me just as much?” That’s the brain’s reward system at work. Perceived rewards trigger a dopamine release, driving your brain to seek immediate gratification. That’s why reaching for your phone is your second instinct, and doomscrolling is the third. In a reality where everything is (almost too) accessible, instant gratification runs rampant in our generation. And if you’re someone who’s neurodivergent or dealing with another mental illness, you know that dopamine spike all too well. With this in mind, how does the Sims come into play?
The Sims 4
If you don’t already know (no judgment), The Sims is a life simulator. You create characters, have them make friends, fall in love, climb the corporate ladder; anything you think of, you can do here. If it’s not in vanilla/base game, there’s a mod for it. It is just about as mundane as the real deal. The thing about The Sims 4 is that you can pause to capture a moment and fast forward through the mundane; both of those being things you cannot do in real life, but a lot of the time, you would really love to. Essentially, you can simulate your Pinterest board and see the virtual results just as quickly. But what about the mundane? Similarly to real life, your sim has the same general tasks to accomplish those goals.
Meet Alyxandra. She is a Renaissance Sim, meaning she aspires to be good at many things all at once. She’s also a quick learner, a loner, a music lover, and a perfectionist; it’s pretty accurate considering I spent a little too long on customization. Immediately upon starting, you’ll see her needs, aspirations, career, skills, relationships, and simology, which consists of her traits and preferences. The Sims serves as a reminder that you need to build on these sections to gain access to the things you aspire to have. And as someone with ADHD, having a cute little body double while I tend to the boring things helps me romanticize the process more. At the same time, I get to see what the future loosely looks like because I did the little things. That added spark is all I need to stay engaged in the mundane.
Fulfilling basic needs
Many of us have mornings when we feel rushed. We brush our teeth while reading emails, trade breakfast for a sugary coffee, and scramble to find our keys even though we just had them in our hands. Now we’re at work or in class, counting the seconds until we get out. Rather than spending 2-3 mindful minutes brushing your teeth, having a light breakfast, and remembering that your keys are still in your jacket pocket from yesterday. Now you’re on top of the world, your day flies by, and you’re eager to do it all over again.
Getting everything in the green is challenging, but securing at least one win beats running empty. And as perfectionists, Alyx and I both tend to forget that we don’t always need to be 100%. Something is always better than nothing. As mentioned earlier, your brain needs perceived rewards for that dopamine boost. Think of pearly whites as being the reward, or the satisfaction of a smooth morning from setting yourself up the night before. Remember when you received a gold star for completing work? This is the same concept! Even the reminder that with each step you take, you’re one step closer than you were before can go a long way.
Maintaining your Sim’s work/life balance
As a Renaissance Sim, Alyx wants to accomplish many things for her career and hobbies. For self-insert purposes, that includes music, coding, astronomy, and other STEAM (science, technology, engineering, art, and math) activities. It’s easy to lose myself in the different possibilities. And because there’s so much to do, the endless possibilities become overwhelming and eventually turn into task paralysis. That’s a fast way to get burnt out. I often let my to-dos drown out my want-to-dos.
Alyx serves as a reminder that nothing needs to happen all at once. While it sounds great on paper, all-or-nothing thinking like this is harmful to your mental health. For example, Alyx is a freelancer. She has a deadline, so she breaks the goal down into digestible tasks. You could speed through each task and get the project in early, but Alyx is ambitious and creative. She cannot keep her focus on one thing, especially work, for too long. Otherwise, she’ll become unmotivated because she spent so much time working and no time creating.
Your simology and what works for you
Sim-ilarly (I couldn’t help myself, lol) to real life, everyone is built differently. The things you struggle with may come easily for other people, and vice versa. The Sims reminds me that it’s important to work with what you have and who you are, rather than against it. Many influencers offer solutions like “how to start your day the right way” or “how to upgrade your look”, and they can work wonders. However, blindly following someone else’s fix might not work as intended, because it simply doesn’t fit who you are. One person’s full body workout might be your full body exhaustion. Another person’s morning routine might be your night routine. And as someone who is neurodivergent, that means accepting that my brain works just a tad differently, and learning how to work with it.
Giving a sim certain attributes gives them their own personal limits. As a perfectionist, Alyx tends to take longer to complete her tasks. She is also a loner, so she needs her alone time to get back in the groove. Her best friend, Liz, is the opposite. Liz is also a Renaissance sim, but she’s quite outgoing. She recharges by going to the club and partying the night away. Alyx would much rather lounge in the house playing SimCity, curled up with a nice book, or blasting post-punk and having an air guitar concert. However, she does enjoy having Liz over every once in a while to discuss their newest pursuits.
Maintaining relationships and literally touching grass
More on social relationships, even loners have to get out of the house sometimes. There is a feature where, if your sim stays cooped up in the house, they start to get restless or, in extreme cases, depressed. Playful trigger warning, COVID did quite a number on all of us. It did open up a more flexible work-life balance with remote learning and working, but it also became a breeding ground for parasocial relationships and increased loneliness. Growing reliance on technology and algorithmic tailoring curates the lives we see, skewing our perception of reality and disconnecting us from it. Examples of this include diminished social skills, increased anxiety, and depressive disorders. Admittedly, I struggle with social anxiety, and it makes it hard to get out of the house sometimes.
Alyx reminds me that I do not have to go through it alone, and that nine times out of ten, I am not alone. And neither are you. Even if it’s just calling up a friend or joining community activities tailored to your interests, touching a little grass goes a long way. Literally. Surrounding yourself with nature boosts your mood. In Alyx’s case, her solo library dates are more than enough, as the walk there is scenic. And the simple act of ordering a matcha latte from her favorite cafe is enough to skyrocket her mood.
Becoming engaged
It’s important to remember that The Sims 4 is simply a game. I’m not telling you to quit your job and pursue the arts or make significant life changes. The Sims serves as just that, a simulation. For some people, it can be a mood board. And for me, it serves as a reminder and a motivator to stay engaged in tasks that are seemingly mundane. It helps me see the bigger picture, while also giving me the dopamine boost to start my tasks and stay consistent. Seeing the difference in Alyx’s performance when she does the little things versus when she skips them not only gives me an idea of what it could look like, but a reminder of what it has looked like in the past. Best of luck! I believe in you.
