An exemplary case of real estate comedy: this real estate agent had no where but the truth to offer when it came to selling “literally the worst house on the street!”
In Florida, real estate agent Philippa Main was given a listing for a very particular house. The property was located at 37913 Avoca Avenue in Zephyrhills, Florida, a typically charming neighbourhood… except for this exact house.
Main, who graduated from Florida State University, was conflicted about how she could sell this house – if ever! So she really only had two tactics available to her: sell lies or sell the truth.
She revealed to Digg, “I always try to be as interesting as possible, but most sellers want me to stick to the more traditional kind of description, so the creativity can only go so far for my typical clients.”
Her comically candid and honest review of the house has made the rounds – and frankly, her charm as a real estate agents shines even brighter than the actual house.
Read below her write-up:
Here it is, literally the worst house on the street! The Seller has done the hard work of cleaning up the almost half-acre property (it only took 7 dumpsters!), so now is your chance to take it from here. Have you ever watched HGTV and thought, “I could do that!”? If so, pack up your tape measure and start Googling how to identify a load-bearing wall because it’s time to put your money where your mouth is! The roof leaks, the floor creaks, and there’s a terrible draft, but this 3 bed, 1.5 bath home is very open concept. And by that we mean the inside is open to the outside because several of the windows are broken. There is a large, sunny window in the kitchen… and absolutely nothing else – a wonderful feature for someone interested in a bright reading space (and ordering take out for every meal). Now I know you’ve heard of a detached garage, but have you ever heard of a detached foundation?! Because that’s what you’ll find here in the large bonus room at the right of the home. And if you’re looking for a house that screams “I’ve got bizarre and ominous energy!” then honey stop the car because you’ve found it right here conveniently located off of US-301 in North Zephyrhills. If you need a place to stage your next post-apocalyptic zombie movie, this is it (the covered porch has really good “rest here on your way to the safe zone” vibes). And whether you like to turn up the heat or keep it cool, it won’t matter here because there is no HVAC system. Oh and don’t forget about the brick chimney that perfectly epitomizes how we all feel after 2020 – about to collapse and going nowhere (literally, there is no fireplace inside the house). What else can be say about this one-of-a-kind opportunity? It’s not in a flood zone and will be conveyed with clear title! But we don’t have a survey and the Seller has never seen the property, so buyers are strongly encouraged to do their own due diligence. And if you’re not interested in crying yourself to sleep every night while you rehab this home, might we suggest tearing it down and building a brand new one in its place? The neighbors would likely thank you.
Philippa Main
If that doesn’t set the image in your head clearly enough of the house, here are the images she posted alongside the listing to get a real sense of the magical place:
The loo is personally my favorite room! I love the rustic decor…
Perfect to build a tree house in!
If these images tickled your fancy, you can find the full listing at YourMainAgent.com
However, if this isn’t exactly the type of home you were looking for, why not check Johnny Depp’s Southern French Mini-Village estate he’s looking to sell? Might be slightly more expensive, but still a very viable option!
Featured image via Your Main Agent.com / Philippa Main
