Friendships are crucial at any age, but are these friendships healthy and worth keeping? Many people do not realize it may be negative until it is too late.
When friendships stop, it can seem like the end of the world for some people. Especially when younger for example, in school, college, and first jobs.
There are fears of everything being awkward when going back into school or the workplace. This can often lead to people just leaving the matter at hand to avoid any conflict.
Doing so can be a bad idea. Factors such as mental health, self-confidence, and attitudes can start to decline.
Finding out if it is time to walk away from a friendship can save you “time, energy and peace.”
What impacts a friendship?
Social media
Even though social media is widely used to stay connected with friends and family, it can be used incorrectly. Meaning that many people use social media to spread hate and negative ideologies.
This can stir up friendships as one cruel “joke,” which can ruin someone’s self-esteem entirely.
For younger people aged 12-16, there have been many studies to show a strong link between social media use and poor mental health. This includes an increase in loneliness, depression, and anxiety.
Many say that seeing what their friends post can make them feel worse about their lives.
Most posts are used to show off what they have or have been doing. This can make people feel low if they cannot also do what they do to “fit in.”
Social media depicts many ways of how friendships “should be,” but this is not always correct as everyone is unique. People should be able to be proud of their friendships and how they act in their friendships even if it is seen as different.
The media can be so damaging, it is said that 55% believe that the use of social media has made their friendships “more superficial.”
Hobbies and differences
Having different hobbies is not a bad thing at all, but sometimes people can see it this way.
This is because of “FOMO.” Friendships can become rocky when one side feels left out. It can simply come down to jealousy of the other person doing more than themselves.
It can also create fear that they will find other friends when doing their hobbies, such as sports and other activities.
Signs of a bad relationship
- You are having more arguments
- Negative comments are being made
- Your friends start to hide things away from you with other friends
- You are not speaking as much or being ignored
- Friends have tried to stop you from doing what you like for no good reason
Time to leave?
If some of these sound familiar, it may be time to leave the friendship for the best.
It is not worth staying in a friendship if you are becoming more down and less confident. You should always put yourself first and do what you want to do.
If your “friend” is telling you to stop doing the things that you enjoy for their own benefit such as hanging out with them instead, you should stand your ground and do what is best for you.
No one should stop you from being happy.
You should not ignore the difficult conversations just to avoid the situation. It may seem like an easy choice if you want to keep your friend but if it is affecting you negatively, it is crucial that you have these conversations.
Finding yourself once a draining friendship ends can be peaceful. It may take time to realize this, but you will thank yourself for leaving.
Scarlet’s friendships
Scarlet, a student in her second year of university, says that throughout school she has had many friendships that have ended, but also had a friendship that she “would not change for the world.”
Her negative friendship ended because, over time, they changed as people. They “both had other friends back home and it caused some arguments.”
This was because they both felt left out of each other’s lives and not fully connected. She added that…
“If we had just, maybe, brought all our friends together we could have all gotten along so well.”
Scarlet
The main reason this friendship ended was down to the fact that arguments persisted and her friend tried to convince her to stop being friends with other people.
Although this is a negative, there are many cases of great friendships that thrive on trust, encouragement, and communication.
Scarlet met another friend at university and they get along great!
She admits, “We get along because even though I play sports and she does not, she cheers me on instead of bringing me down.”
They also have arguments, but always make sure to discuss them after to “clear the air.”
This is crucial as when in an argument, you may say things in the heat of the moment. By talking about it after, you can calmly explain their point of views.
How to maintain a strong friendship
Take time to understand one another: it is the best way to fully know someone is by taking in all of them. Meaning the way they like to hear truths, their interests, things that make them happy and so on.
Communication: it is always good to “talk it out” and as you cannot resolve something that has not been spoken about!
Be there for them: make sure to support one another as much as possible. It is always nice to have someone to cry on if needed.
Appreciate time alone: You do not need to be together all of the time. One of the main reasons some friendships can end is being in someone’s space too much. Again, to know when they want to be alone, you need to communicate!
Do activities together: find a level ground and do what both of you like but do not be afraid to try new things. You never know if you will like it until you try.
Celebrate together: celebrate even the smallest wins and show you are proud of what they have accomplished!
One thing to remember is that a great friendship goes both ways, if you feel like you are giving lots of energy but do not feel that you are getting enough, tell them.
