University is a huge step for a young person to make academically and personally. At 18 you are changing life as you know it, moving away from home and starting a new chapter. This comes with a lot of ups and downs, and it is normal to be scared. After 2 years I’ve gotten a little better at it, so here’s your guide on how to survive university by learning from some of my mistakes.
Don’t be scared
I live in a tiny town, and before moving to university I had stuck to a very small social circle. I was scared about moving away, worrying about the unfamiliar places but especially the unfamiliar people. If I am surrounded by things and people I know I feel out of control, and I’m not good at starting conversations with people my own age so I thought I would be often alone. I thought about staying at home a lot, but I knew I needed a degree so I pushed myself out of my comfort zone.
When I started university I was only 18 so I had much growing up to do. I decided I needed to try new things. I went to all the first-year freshers events and tried hard to talk to as many people as I could. This was a huge step for me, I spoke to my flatmates and coursemates and made incredible memories.
Before university, I hadn’t stepped foot in a club, which is one of the most popular social activities for a student. The idea of clubbing never appealed to me because I struggle with crowds and loud noise. But I found I love it! I find a lot of freedom and fun being able to dance the night away. By pushing myself this tiny bit, I’ve made so many funny memories. I was lucky and in my accommodation and course met friends for life. Without Darcy, Ellie, Ceri, Anais, Issy, and Caitlin I would not have survived university.
It is uni or university?
There’s a saying at university during exam season or approaching a deadline that uni is becoming university. In basic terms, it means that the fun and freeing lifestyle is becoming more focused on the academic side of things. In my first year, I really dived into going out with my friends and trying to be as social as possible. Unfortunately, my grades slipped. I needed to learn how to balance those two things.
In my second year, it was a lot harder as the workload and difficulty of the work increased significantly.
I found myself getting really overwhelmed and upset. My grades were nowhere close to where I wanted them to be, and I was harsh and unkind to myself because of this. I was embarrassed and thought that I was a failure. My attendance fell low and I was finding it hard to get myself together.
I made the choice to buckle down and really work on my grades rather than spend so much time socialising. I still saw my friends, but I just didn’t go to every single social event and planned my time better.
Now I am going into my third year and have my dissertation and MMA to complete. If I am being entirely honest I am worried, because I want to do well. So I am going to make sure I study hard, but it is also the last year I will be living with my friends. So finding that balance will be super important to me.
Although it is easy to get swept up in partying, remember you are paying to learn so do try and go to some of those early morning lessons.
Finding friends
Friendship is tricky, and that pressure is multiplied by a thousand when you go to university. You are stuck with a small group of people for a long period. My accommodation in the first year was one of the cheapest, which I was so scared I would get judged for.
Before I got to university I was so scared that the people I would be living with would hate me, or that we would have nothing in common. I was scared to even go into my kitchen. In my flat, I met two of the greatest people in my life, Ceri and Issy. These two girls made me feel safe and we have shared more incredible memories than I can count.
From the flat next door and the rooms above I met Ellie and Anais. Our little group made my first year living experience the best. We spent most of our time laughing in the dirty kitchen. In my course, I met Darcy, who is another of my closest friends. I study journalism, a topic I have never had any experience in before. Darcy connected with me through text before the course started, but I wouldn’t have gotten through the lessons without her.
Together we stressed about the deadlines, annoying teachers and students while spending a stupid amount of money in the Starbucks on campus. I am lucky enough to be living with all these girls in third year. Even though I find socialising overwhelming sometimes, pushing myself has allowed me to meet these amazing girls, which I am so grateful for.
Don’t be worried about meeting people, take a step back. You have your course, your accommodation, societies and so many more places to find friends. You won’t be alone, just be yourself.
Love life
Everyone says don’t get into a relationship at university. Everyone says what about when you’re at home and the distance? It would help if you enjoyed your youth and you’re too young for anything serious. But why should I listen?
Not everyone wants a relationship but I did.
In my first year, I got hurt a lot by terrible situationships that I thought would turn into more. But I was also scared of something serious. I became too involved with the idea of meeting the right person and thought that was super important.
Because of this I shed many tears and my poor friends had to listen to silly stories. It was only when I stopped looking and just let myself enjoy my life at university that I met Jacob. He makes me so happy. Just because a lot of people say don’t get into a relationship, doesn’t mean you need to listen if it is.
Ultimately, you have to do what makes you happy. If that’s not seeing anyone, or seeing everyone, do what works for you. There’s no reason to be scared, and you’ll always thank yourself for staying true to yourself and following your heart.
