Frank Turner is set to play his 3,000th show at London’s famous Alexandra Palace next year. He has over twenty years of experience and his 2022 album hit number one in the charts. He’s been signed to at least five record labels.
He also went to Eton College at the same time as Prince William. But hey, who’s paying any attention to that?
Crywank is an independent band that formed in the north of England in 2009 by Jay Clayton. They were joined by Dan Watson in 2012 and Jules Noel earlier this year, and their albums have somewhat of a cult following in online spaces. A trademark of the DIY scene, Crywank write sad songs for sad people. Their biggest hits include ‘Momento Mori’, ‘Song for a Guilty Sadist’ and ‘Privately Owned Spiral Galaxy’. Obviously all of these songs are very cheery and not depressing at all.
I mean, the name makes sense.
So, obviously, there are a few differences between these two artists. When I saw Crywank tweeting about this whole Frank Turner record attempt, I remember being confused above anything else. What the fuck do these two have in common? Well, apparently a lot more than what I first thought.
The Rules
On the mission to promote his new album Undefeated, Turner announced that he was going to set a world record. The task was exhausting yet deceptively simple – play 15 shows in 15 cities within a day. Spanning across the UK – from Liverpool to Southampton – all shows had to be over 15 minutes, to a paying audience of at least 25, in a real venue, with a real stage.
The whole thing started back in April – as nothing more than a joke. But then suddenly Crywank had a poster on their Twitter (X) account with a poster advertising dates from Lancaster to Bradford, and it very quickly didn’t feel like a joke anymore.
What could have been a “haha imagine if we pissed off Frank Turner and beat his world record the day before he even attempted it” spiraled into something a lot bigger than I think anyone could have anticipated.
The Real Enemy in This is Capitalism
I want to emphasise the paying audience aspect of the whole thing, because that’s the main thing that sets aside the two record attempts. Money! Because of course it is!
Turner’s audience all paid for his shows. He paid for the Guinness world records to verify his attempt, clearly not happy enough with the knowledge that he did it. He was also sponsored by FreeNow, a taxi service that provided him with cars enough to complete the almost 500 mile journey.
I don’t want my voice to be another contribution to the endless slue of negative bullshit that is pumped into these types of spaces, so, to his credit, it was in support of the Music Venue Trust. A clearly essential charity aiming to help uplift struggling grassroot venues during this time. AGAIN, just to be as clear as I possibly can be, I love independent music. I love the MVT’s work. I will always defend them.
But I just don’t know if I can get on board with a man with a big corporate sponser charging his own fans for a 20 minute set! Maybe I’m just too cynical, but I just think this capitalist hellhole we’ve found ourselves in has us praising the same old men for doing not that much! No one is attacking Frank Turner for helping charity. I’m not trying to attack him at all, simply point out what what Crywank is doing is important because of what it represents.
Conclusion
Crywank has received a lot of criticism for seemingly attacking the MVT, and for… Tweeting about it? I mean, to be fair, I’d be very pissed if my record attempt was overshadowed by a man who is only getting so much attention because he’s popular. Is Frank Turner really the best one to listen to when discussing grassroots venues, or should we be paying attention to smaller DIY acts… Y’know… Such as Crywank, maybe?
I think the reason that I’m so invested in this is because of what it represents. Festivals are full of private school kids (including FRANK BLOODY TURNER), and everywhere I turn there’s another fucking nepotism baby! Working class bands and artists cannot afford touring. Sleeping on a megabus is necessary, and t shirts and vinyl sales are important now more than ever. Spotify are forcing people to live off poverty wages, despite bringing in almost 10 billion in 2021.
It just pisses me off to see such a huge artist profiting from the publicity of this stunt when smaller artists are pushed further and further into the shadows. UK politics mean that anyone who is not far-right is immediately deemed as an activist. But the truth of the matter is that the music industry needs reform. It needs it now. And, as much as he thinks it’s doing, it’s not going to be achieved by Frank Turner paying for Guinness to verify his world record. (And we can’t forget the fact that this is all being done in the first place in order to promote his album…) It can only be achieved by those brave enough to speak out against big business and elitism – those such as Crywank.
