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She’s Gemma Styles… Not “Harry Styles’ Sister”

Gemma Styles on living with a famous brother, writing a novel, being an advocate for mental health charities, creating a podcast and setting up her own sunglasses brand. Making us question do the Styles siblings just have great genes for success?

Cheltenham Festivals Press/Aimee Kritikos

After many years of asking herself, ‘Why Am I Like This?’, Gemma opens up in her novel about everything she has learned about herself since her recent ADHD diagnosis.

Overshadowed by famous siblings

Fans of Gemma may have noticed that due to her famous brother, Harry Styles, she is constantly put in his shadow. Gemma has always been in the spotlight of the media since Harry’s appearance on X-Factor, but the work she commits herself to doesn’t seem to get the coverage it deserves. Whilst the relationship she maintains with her brother is a very close one, it must be extremely frustrating to constantly be known as someone’s sister instead of as you.

At the 2023 Brit Awards, host Jack Whitehall made an ‘innocent’ jab at Harry Styles by asking about his guest. Whitehall seemingly expected Harry to be with a girlfriend. He didn’t recognize Gemma, despite her rising prominence from various projects and a Vogue photoshoot with her brother. Afterward, Jack Whitehall awkwardly apologized, and the incident was forgotten.

The Media During Gemma’s Book Release

The most recent example of Gemma being overshadowed by her younger sibling took place during the promotion of her debut novel. She is frequently labeled as “Harry Styles’ sister” by brands and media outlets promoting her self-help book — with no mention of her own name, despite the fact she is literally now a published author. If you research her book, Why Am I Like This, these are the top results you will find:

A screenshot of article titles referring to Gemma as "Harry Styles's sister"
Headlines from the front page of Google. (Credit: Google Search)

During the promotion of her book, she featured as a guest on the hit UK daytime television show Lorraine. Interviewer Lorraine Kelly asked Gemma many insightful questions about her novel and the difficult topics it addresses. Yet, the televised caption detracted from the conversation by once again drawing attention to her superstar brother.

As requested by her agent, the press has largely avoided questions about Harry Styles during Gemma’s book tour. But it doesn’t change the fact that they are still diverting attention from the important topics she’s discussing.

@albhoran

To be fair the press has been good at leaving him out of interview questions about HER BOOK but this is really disrespectful, that must be so annoying for her to live with #gemmastyles #whyamilikethis? #harrystyles #interview credit: harrystyles.k

♬ original sound – albhoran

Gemma’s success

But this is an article about Gemma, not her brother. So, without further ado here’s everything you need to know about her success in recent years.

The eyewear brand

Gemma teamed up with a bunch of different eyewear brands to create her own collaboration. She joined Kenmark eyewear and has since started a prominent sustainable collection with Baxter and Bonny. Concerned about the environment and committed to making a difference, Gemma prioritized creating eyewear that would outlast trends. The glasses are also adaptable, allowing you to take them to your optician for custom prescription lenses.

The podcast

In 2020, Gemma began a podcast called Good Influence, where each week, she talks to a guest who is an expert on a topic “we should know about.” These topics range from body confidence to the climate, and guests such as Tasha Ghouri of Love Island, Matt Haig (the author of the TikTok bestseller Midnight Library), and medical expert Dr Joshua Wolrich. With four seasons of the podcast show and over 2.2k ratings at an average of 4.9/5 stars on Spotify, it is safe to say that the podcast is very popular!

Credit: Spotify

Doing Good

Since 2021, Gemma has been an ambassador for MQ Mental Health Research. During the announcement of her joining the research charity, she said:

“Not having an answer to why I experience the mental health issues I do has been endlessly frustrating and treatments have been far from a definitive solution. As well as gaining insight into the best ways to help people struggling with mental health conditions, research is vital in understanding how they begin and can be prevented in the future. I don’t think we can overstate its value. I’m honoured to be an ambassador for MQ and hope to help them in their work however I can.”

Gemma Styles, MQ Mental Health Research

From the ‘Do Good’ section on her official website, it is evident that Gemma is always trying to do, well, good. She seeks to make people aware of what is going on around them, and education itself is something very close to her heart due to her Teaching Degree. Her site signifies this with its efforts to be as inclusive as possible. Designed to be accessible, the site has a link to transcribed versions of her podcast for those with hearing impairments, and she has also ensured that the site itself is written in a particular format that makes it easier to read for people with learning difficulties and visual impairments. Furthermore, Google Translate tool ensures that all information is available in other languages.

Social media presence

With 10.3 million Instagram followers, Gemma could be classified as an influencer. Talking on the matter with Laura Whitmore, she said, “I knew what I didn’t want to do with my online presence. I didn’t want people to feel worse about themselves or to feel they needed stuff. I have big respect for people with a big online following who share so much of themselves online, they don’t always get the credit, but it is such a hard thing to do, to be so vulnerable.”

The book

Whether she classes herself as an influencer or not, Why Am I Like This has solidified her place in the minds of many teenage girls and young women who now look up to her for speaking out so bravely about her personal mental struggles.

Why Am I Like This Event

Orange cover of "Why Am I like This" by Gemma Styles
Credit: Giorgia Caso

Not long after the release of her book on September 12th, Gemma visited one of the UK’s largest literature festivals in Cheltenham. There, she was interviewed by Laura Whitmore about her novel’s release and the inspiration behind it.

The pair have interacted quite often since first meeting a few years ago. Laura was even a guest on Gemma’s podcast. This meant that even though Gemma was nervous at the beginning, the interview was quite relaxed. Speaking to the audience, Gemma said, “I’ll probably ignore you for the first ten minutes, but it’s just my anxiety, I promise I will talk to you when I’ve calmed down!”

Anxiety in the media

Opening the event almost immediately with a line about her anxiety, Gemma explained how this topic is talked about more frequently within society nowadays. It used to be quite a taboo topic to even mention mental health but as Gemma remarked, “We’re beginning to have more of a conversation about that now.”

The media is also covering these topics much more often. This summer, Inside Out 2 was released. Along with the new storyline was the inclusion of a few new characters. The first film was already extremely relatable, but now more people had the chance to identify with the character Anxiety. Gemma stated: “It is so heartwarming to feel represented and when I saw anxiety being portrayed in Inside Out I almost cried.”

Her experience with anxiety

Gemma first noticed anxious symptoms around the age of her high school GCSE exams. But, like countless others, she put the feelings down to exam stress and dismissed the issue. This made her realize that “it takes people a long time to take themselves seriously enough to admit they’re suffering.”

Now, when describing how her mind works, Gemma exclaims, “I have the Monica from Friends side of the brain.” For those who haven’t seen the sitcom, she means that her thoughts are always in overdrive. Gemma revealed that she overthinks every little thing — whether it’s a small interaction with someone or a worry that she has offended a family member. She often lies in bed at night with thoughts replaying of everything she has said or done that day.

She shared that the worst part is that most of the time, she knows she didn’t do anything wrong, but her mind can easily trick her into feeling guilty. A true people-pleaser, Gemma admitted: “I would never be as mean to anybody else as I am to myself.”

Her anxiety stems from being a true introvert at heart. Growing up, she was the more shy sibling, whereas Harry was extroverted. But, Gemma said, “in smaller groups I become louder.”

ADHD

With the stereotypical ADHD case being a child who can’t sit still long enough in class to concentrate, a lot of people are diagnosed later, Gemma being one of them. She was only diagnosed with ADHD “about two and a half years ago.” As a child, no one ever accused Gemma of being hyper. However, that’s why it took so long for her to get her diagnosis — she didn’t exhibit the stereotypical signs.

The stats

As someone who does research herself, Gemma announced that despite the common misconception that more people are diagnosed with ADHD these days, only “3% of the UK adult population has ADHD. So, it’s a small enough proportion that you feel a bit ‘odd’.” [This statistic was proven via the NHS England website.]

The average age of diagnosis for men is six or seven, whereas girls are less likely to be diagnosed during childhood because they tend to display their symptoms more subtly. For women who weren’t diagnosed as children, they are more likely to discover they have ADHD between the ages of 36-38. Sometimes, their late diagnosis is down to other disorders or the fact that their child was just diagnosed with ADHD.

“Although males are still more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD in practice, the reality is that women experience the same type, number, and severity of symptoms as do males with the condition. Women may be even more affected by their ADHD as it can remain undiagnosed for a long time.”

NHS Berkshire Trust

WebMD confirms that the symptoms of ADHD in young girls and women are usually subtle: “Parents, teachers, and even pediatricians often miss ADHD symptoms and behaviors in young girls because they aren’t obvious.”

Her diagnosis

Speaking about her own diagnosis, Gemma said she had never considered that she may have ADHD. It wasn’t until her best friend sent her an Instagram reel of a woman their age sharing her recent diagnosis and experience that she started thinking about it. The best friend asked Gemma, “Doesn’t this sound a lot like you?” And that’s what pushed her to find out for sure.

For Gemma, knowing about her ADHD “doesn’t make it easier,” but it helps her understand why she finds it so hard to complete certain tasks.

Laura Whitmore said, “When I first met you (Gemma), I thought you had your sh*t together, I never would’ve known you’ve suffered with depression, anxiety and ADHD.”

Society on Mental Health

Society clings to outdated impressions about mental health issues. A lot of men still believe it isn’t masculine to talk about their feelings and, as a result, tend to keep depressing thoughts and personal issues to themselves.

On the other hand, Gemma believes that socialization is a large contributing factor to why we mask our feelings. During her interview with Laura Whitmore, she said:

“Since I was young, I was socialized to behave more acceptably as a girl. On the whole, girls are not expected to get in trouble, they’re meant to keep their heads down and just get on with it. This masking causes people to discover things like ADHD later on because they are less likely to speak up and people are less likely to notice when they are being told to keep their head down all the time.”

Gemma’s advice

Ahead of World Mental Health Day, Gemma shared her tips on how to stay mindful:

1. Doom scrolling at night

Numerous mental wellness advisers issue the following advice: “Don’t go on your phone two hours before bed.” I’m on mine two minutes before I pass out! Spending less time on social media can be a good way to stay away from toxic comments but I find that scrolling at night calms my mind enough to let me drift off. Otherwise, I’d find another way to occupy my brain — overthinking.

2. Posting on social media

You never owe anyone else the most private parts of your mind. If you don’t want to post, you don’t have to. I talk about mental health online but very rarely when I’m currently going through something. You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube, nor can you take back what you share online — which is why I’m more on the side of sharing less as my personal choice.

I’m a very literal person — I like facts. But a lot of people see mindfulness as a “wishy-washy woo-woo practice.” It’s a female dominated industry, with a lot of people looking down upon it. But all that it really is is you taking the time to see what you’re feeling, which is a different process for everyone. You don’t have to follow the trends; just make a conscious effort to check in on how you’re feeling. Do what works for you.

4. Extroverts struggle too

Be aware that extroverts may still have the same mental process as an introvert when they go home after socializing. They still overthink — they just mask it differently in social settings.

5. Love yourself

Talk to yourself positively — it strengthens the way you feel about yourself. Even if it feels fake at the beginning, you’ll start to believe it.

6. Supporting loved ones with ADHD

Do as much research as you can. Everyone has different symptoms, and by knowing more about the disorder, you will understand how best to give support.

7. Handling hard news in a world of war

With horrific things occurring on the news every day, it’s good to keep up to date, but we can’t expect ourselves to watch 24 hours of news a day. Our brains aren’t wired to consume so much information constantly. It feels wrong and insensitive to have the privilege to ignore the devastation happening in the world. However, sometimes you do have to turn off the TV when things become too difficult to watch. You have to know your personal limits and find that balance. We must remain educated about what’s going on around us but not push ourselves to consume media 24/7. It feels like we have to fix everything, but in truth, we can’t.

Back to the book

Gemma’s mental health self-help book references ADHD, but she wanted to emphasize that it wasn’t a book “just about ADHD.” Receiving her diagnosis roughly six months before writing her book wasn’t the only reason she did it — though it likely propelled her to start. Gemma confessed, “Before, I never had the confidence to start a project this big. I used to let people down, not meeting deadlines and making excuses because I didn’t feel capable. But, now I understand myself better.”

Laura Whitmore said that one of her favorite things about the audio version of the book is that Gemma reads it aloud.

@gemstylesmexico

not featured: the number of times producer Scarlet had to ask me to slow down will you be reading or listening? #harrystyles #gemmastyles #spech #book #matt #1direction #life #lifestory #foryoupage #par #paratiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii @HSHQ

♬ original sound – gemstylesmexico

With her degree in teaching, one of Gemma’s biggest passions is educating people. Throughout her book, she includes funny little anecdotes to present the ‘sciency-bits’ in a more understandable way.

Gemma added, “I don’t think you have to know everything to understand something.”

One of the main things Gemma has taken away from the experience of writing the book is learning to be nicer to herself.


After all that success and hard work, maybe we should start calling Harry Styles “Gemma’s brother?”

Now that you’ve read all about Gemma, you may want to check out her book for yourself!

If you enjoyed this read, you may also enjoy discovering how mental health language loses meaning on social media.

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Written By

I'm Bethan, a Journalism student at the University of Gloucestershire. I love discovering places, experiencing different cultures and trying new foods. When I'm not writing or travelling, I'm at home in Wales walking on the beach with my two dogs, recreating recipes or relaxing with a comfort read.

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