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Amazon’s Newest HQ is a 350 Feet Tall, Glass Poop Emoji

It’s the best looking poop emoji we’ve seen though.

Credit: Amazon / NBBJ

Has Jeff Bezos decided to embrace the current public perception of him (as the human embodiment of the poop emoji) and build a matching headquarters for Amazon? Perhaps not. But, whether intentional or not, there is no denying that Amazon’s Arlington, Virginia Campus looks an awful lot like everyone’s favourite faecal imagery. 

The building is incredibly modern in its appearance, made up of a glass swirl and huge amounts of greenery – there are going to be two paths following the spiral upwards, perfect for hikes or lunchtime walks, filled with plants (to make you forget you’re killing the planet by working for Amazon, maybe?). The tech giant has claimed the shape is inspired by “the natural beauty of a double helix.” The building is, creatively, called the ‘Helix’. 

Credit: Amazon / NBBJ

If you, like us, don’t work for Amazon, then you can always have a look around on the weekend public tours Amazon is hoping to offer. In fact, Amazon has plans to create a veritable city within their ‘Amazon Campus’, with three 22-story buildings, a plaza, and a dog run, as well as restaurants, shops, and food trucks, all open to the public.

This is simply the latest in a series of efforts by Amazon to modernise, to become the face of progressive technology – in 2020 Amazon managed to win approval for drone deliveries and also expressed a desire to enable payment by palm (of hand). These Black Mirror-esque stories now have the perfect utopian, futuristic paradise to accompany them – the Amazon Virginia HQ2. Is anyone else getting super-villain vibes from Jeff Bezos right now?

Maybe we’re crazy, but the Arlington Amazon campus isn’t a good enough reason to end our boycott of this terrifying giant of tech, retail, food, film, and TV, delivery, music, and more. Season 3 of The Boys might be a good enough reason, however.

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