Dating in the 21st Century can be great. There is so much more freedom. You can now save yourself the trouble of waiting for the perfect ‘meet cute’ by using dating apps instead. Plus, there is the added bonus of no chaperones a la Bridgerton. But that doesn’t mean that it is safer for women. It has been five years since the murder of Sarah Everard. Since then, women have had to take further precautions in order to stay safe when going on dates. Are the steps women take too far? Or is it an absolute necessity so they are able to keep themselves safe?
The danger of dating apps
In theory, using the internet to find the one is great. You can swipe left or right, and block anyone if you need to. But going on a date without meeting the other person can be dangerous. They may not be who they say they are. This may be actual catfishing, or the vibes that you get online may not be the same in person. This has been more difficult to spot, according to The Guardian, “AI images are becoming more sophisticated.”
Women have to be especially careful with what information they put on dating apps because giving out personal details, such as their address, can be taken advantage of. There is an extra level of caution women have to take on dates with strangers.
Using apps is great when the person you are talking to is on the same page as you, but when a man expects more, it can unfortunately take a sour turn. Make sure you state your intentions before going on the date.
If you happen to feel unsafe on a date at a bar or restaurant, most establishments have an ‘Ask For Angela’ scheme. The staff will help you to get of the situation safely. They will call for a taxi and wait with you to ensure you are protected.
Precautions women take
When setting off on a date, women have to tell someone where they are going, who they are going with, and what time they should be back. It sounds like a child asking a parent if they could go to a friend’s house for a sleepover, but it’s one of the many precautions women unfortunately have to make. This way, if anything goes wrong and she goes missing, her loved ones will know of her last known whereabouts to inform the police. Many women share their live location with friends and family, too.
Whilst a secluded, romantic date sounds nice, for women, it is unfortunately a no-go on the first date. Well-lit, populated areas are a must.
Staying alert
Women do not always have the luxury of simply enjoying a first date. They have to be constantly thinking about how to stay safe. Even simple things like buying her own drink are important, so she knows it hasn’t been tampered with. They also can’t leave their food or drink unattended. Women can’t drink too much alcohol, in case they are too inebriated to fight back.
Financial fraud
Now that dating online has been more accessible, there has been an increase in what the police have called “romance fraud”. This is when someone begins a “relationship” with their victim. Over time, they will build up their victim’s trust, and then claim there has been an emergency where they need money from their victim, such as their family member is having an operation.
The signs to look out for
Romance fraudsters usually tell you to keep your relationship a secret. They may also isolate you from your friends and family.
Make sure that you never give out your bank details online. Romance fraudsters usually target older, vulnerable women, but that is not to say it doesn’t happen to younger women, too.
The Metropolitan Police also state: It’s also illegal for someone to threaten to share sexual pictures, videos, or information about you unless you pay money or do something else you don’t want to.”
What to do to prevent being followed?
Unfortunately, women have to worry about being followed home after a date. Make sure to ensure you organise your own transport home. Unlike in the fifties, when picking girls up in cars was the norm, it is now safer for women to drive themselves. Or alternatively, arrange for someone to pick you up outside.
Furthermore, some people will have a code word or an emoji to send to loved ones in an emergency to be discreet. Again, it is a harsh reality that this is the case for many women.
Be safe
Of course, dating is supposed to be a fun, enjoyable experience. But dating as a woman isn’t always easy, especially if you don’t know the other person. Remember to keep your wits about you and leave if you feel unsafe. The block button exists for a reason!
