With the recent resurgence of popularity of the original six seasons of Sex and the City in the Millennial and Gen-Z social media communities, now seems like an appropriate time to have a little chat, girl-to-girl. Or, if I may, woman to woman. The show’s modern-day popularity revolves mostly around the aesthetics of the show, particularly the fashion, and the images of powerful female friendships.
On TikTok, you can see videos from creators big and small referencing the show in various ways. Some of my personal favorite videos/posts are ‘How each character in SATC would react to _____,’ ‘How I would dress each character from SATC,’ and reenactments of SATC scenes where all of the characters are played by a guy with a mustache and way too many wigs. But the reason why I am writing this article isn’t to discuss funny skits online or why the show is popular; what the show teaches you and leaves you with is why I truly consider it to be a rite of passage from girlhood to womanhood.
Have you started your journey?
There comes a special time in every girl’s life when they are faced with a sort-of “checkpoint” from girlhood to womanhood. It’s not an obstacle; rather, it’s an examination of whether or not a girl is ready to move on to the big leagues. Maybe one could imagine a TSA body scanner kind-of scenario; you step in, you raise your arms above your head, and the machine whirs around you to scan whether or not you’re ready to pass on to the next level in life. If you’ve watched Sex and the City, the agent signals you to go on ahead and collect your belongings to take with you into your new journey through stretch marks, bruises you have no idea the origin of, and missing your mom.
If you haven’t seen Sex and the City, the agent tells you to step aside and frantically calls on their walkie-talkie, “CODE: Ruby Woo.” The next thing you know, you’re quickly escorted into a private room where there’s a plush couch, soft lighting, a TV with Sex and the City season one, episode one, fired up and ready to be played, and a remote that somehow made its way into your hand. The TSA agent tells you that you cannot leave this room until you have finished the series and signals you a parting salute. With a tear in her eye, she probably wishes she could relive the experience of first watching this show all over again.
Unnecessarily long story short, the point is–it’s unavoidable. It’s like when you get your period for the first time–it’s part of becoming the woman you were born to be. You can’t move on to live your life and be one with the way your body and mind change if you haven’t learned the ancient texts of the women who came before you.
Look, I don’t make the rules; I follow them. You’re truly not who you think you are until you’ve watched Sex and the City. How do I figure this? I’ve lived it!
Realistic? No. Honest? Yes! Fabulous? Incredibly
Of course, SATC is incredibly unrealistic in economic terms; there’s no way a weekly columnist on a solo income is making monthly rent in a huge Upper East Side apartment–even if it were rent-controlled! Plus, the thousands of dollars of shoes that line the walls of Carrie’s walk-through closet are just silly to even think about realistically–it’s TV. TV that plays into the fantasies of your inner fashionista.
This romanticized perception of a world in which living in Manhattan costs you the same as if you lived in Bald Knob, Arkansas, isn’t why this show is so heavily watched, though. Yes, it makes us as screeners feel fabulous and gives us great style inspo, but the real reason why this show is so iconic and important for women, young and old, is the moments that are realistic.
SATC teaches us so many life lessons via humor, sex, and cocktails. SATC makes the hard stuff not only digestible, but binge-worthy; Miranda, Carrie, Charlotte, and Sam teach you that the strength that female friendships give you is unmatched, that soulmates don’t always have to be romantic, that it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to laugh at inappropriate times, to make mistakes, to be chic in a room full of khaki, to go through heart-wrenching breakups (many, many times), and most importantly SATC teaches women that the only way to truly live is to live as your most authentic self.
Take it from me
For me, the best part about watching Sex and the City for the first time was the surge of confidence I felt after realizing that security in my individuality is what truly made me sexy. Midway through my first watch of the series, I noticed that I suddenly had this rush of self-esteem not only in myself, but in my body too. I no longer viewed my curves as unwanted weight or my height as unattractively tall. Instead, I began to look at myself as a real woman, grown out of the girlish days of my past.
I’m not saying that all of my insecurities disappeared, of course, but rather that the influence that SATC had on my self-perspective greatly changed the ways in which I treated myself. How? By coming to terms with the fact that I was trying to conform myself to what the male perspective wanted me to be. Over and over again in the series, there are precious moments in which the girls–mostly Miranda and Sam–tell the others to snap out of it! Who gives a shit what men think about you? All that matters is that you love yourself and that you have a group of friends who support and love you tenfold as well. With those two things, you’re pretty much unstoppable.
The women come out on top
Even with the show being centered around the pros, cons, and whatever the hell is in between regarding relationships with men, the characters who come out on top are the women. Why? Once again, because they love themselves and embrace their imperfections, individualistic qualities, and incredible sexiness! Sex and the City shows that a man doesn’t need to be the center of your life–you do. In a world so focused on what “the man” wants, be like Samantha Jones and say, fuck ’em! “After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breathe and reboot.”
