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Man Who Crashed His Car Because He Saw An Octopus Officially Determined To “Just Be High”

This article is full of lame excuses.

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If you missed this Octop story, well—you shouldn’t have, but you know I’m always ready to fill you in with the facts. Last year, there was a man named Robert Shapley, who totaled his car after claiming to see an octopus on the road, about a hundred miles from the sea, to avoid colliding with it.

His court appearance took place at the end of May, and as any judge of normal sense would decree, the man was determined to be just high to the heavens. Police testimony did not help the guy’s case, as they concurred that he was completely under the influence. Prosecutor Philip Sewell said this to the Newton Abbot Magistrates’ Court:

“He said the following to officers when they found him in his overturned car:

‘It got a bit bumpy for a while. I swerved to avoid an octopus.

It is pretty bad out there having to dodge all that whitebait.’

Officers said they found no evidence of an octopus on the road. 

He was stumbling around, he wasn’t coherent.

He continued to talk to the officers, he was talking about squid, octopus, and other sea creatures.”

Shapley also plead guilty to the use of other illicit drugs, and to using them while driving. Tests of his blood returned contents of morphine, codeine, cannabis, and some type of heroin. With a pathetic excuse as a defense, his lawyer claimed that all of the drugs were prescribed. Lame excuse, but okay.

For more lame excuses, check out Gaming Disorder is Now a Disease!

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