Not everyone we meet in life is going to be kind, caring, and helpful all the time. In fact, it’s more common for people to be self-centered, unhelpful, and downright toxic.
Narcissists and toxic people can creep into even the most well-intentioned person’s life without warning. If you have a narcissist or toxic person in your life right now, know that you’re not alone—and that there are ways to deal with these difficult people effectively. Read on to learn how to recognize a narcissist or toxic person in your life and what to do when you encounter one.
What is Narcissism?
To start off, let’s look into what narcissism really means. Narcissism is a psychological term that refers to an inflated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and an excessive need for attention and admiration, according to the American Psychological Association. In other words, narcissists are people who have an inflated sense of their own importance, lack the ability to empathize with others, and crave attention and admiration.
Narcissism can manifest in different ways, though psychologists usually separate the condition into two main types: grandiose narcissists and vulnerable narcissists. Grandiose narcissists are boastful and believe they’re superior to others, whereas vulnerable narcissists feel insecure and attempt to overcompensate for this by putting others down.
A narcissist judges others so harshly, because their narcissism blocks them from seeing themselves, so they project what they can accept accountability for.. on to others
— Gaslighting Effect (@RevaSteenbergen) September 13, 2022
How Common is Narcissism?
Narcissism is a very common psychological issue. In fact, some research shows that a whopping 16% of the general population can be diagnosed with some degree of narcissism. If you’re wondering if you are one of them, you might want to take a narcissist test to find out.
But why is narcissism so common? A major reason is that our culture is increasingly focused on individualism, which narcissists exploit. Another major factor is that our society places increasing importance on self-expression in all forms, whether that be artistic expression, personal development, or social activism.
What Drives Narcissistic Behaviour?
So what actually drives narcissistic behavior at its core? The need for attention, praise, and admiration is a basic human need, but narcissists take it to a pathological extreme. There are a few theories as to why this might be, including the idea that people who grow up with low levels of attention and affection may, in a way, be “rewiring” their brains to seek out more of these things than is actually healthy.
When people don’t get enough attention or affection growing up, they might conclude that they’re not worthy of these things, and then seek them out in highly inappropriate ways as adults. Another theory is that narcissism is actually a form of defense against early childhood trauma. This idea is supported by the fact that narcissism is more common in people who experienced neglect as children.
The Rise of Self-Obsessed Culture
Another major factor in the rise of narcissism is the fact that we live in a self-obsessed culture that focuses on the self above all else. Whether it’s social media or tabloid journalism that’s the culprit, we’re often bombarded with stories about famous people, their love lives, latest purchases, and other self-focused content on a daily basis. Furthermore, there’s more money than ever being poured into the self-help industry, which largely encourages people to focus on their own needs, wants, and desires. All of these things contribute to creating a culture that makes narcissism even more common than ever.
How Can We Stop the Rise of Narcissism?
The first step is to recognize narcissism when you see it, and then be willing to confront it head-on. When you come across someone who is clearly a narcissist, don’t get sucked into their world. Instead, make an effort to maintain a sense of perspective, and don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. Maintain distance between narcissists as they can emotionally drain you, and educate yourself and others around you about what narcissism is.
If you’ve ever encountered a narcissist or toxic person in your life, you know that it can be a truly disheartening experience. Fortunately, there are ways to deal with narcissists and toxic people effectively so you can protect yourself from their negative behavior and come out on top. Ultimately, we can’t control what other people do or say, but we can control how we respond to it.
By recognizing narcissism and toxic behavior when you see it and then taking steps to protect yourself and confront it, you can put yourself in a better position to thrive and succeed in life without these leeches in your life.
