No contact is the premise where you never talk to your ex (friend or partner) again after calling it quits. With no contact, you have a moment of closure with this person. From there, you’re supposed to never see or talk to them again. The key word here is SUPPOSED. But we all know it can sometimes be hard to maintain no contact. The keyword here is SOMETIMES.
So, what are we supposed to do when it’s the middle of the night and you get the urge to reach out to your ex? The correct answer would be to fight these urges to text your ex. Whether it is an ex-friend or an ex-partner, they’re an ex for a reason.
However, it’s only natural for it to be hard to fight these feelings and urges. So, I did a few surveys online to find the absolute best ways to maintain no-contact. The responses I got were interesting, to say the least. Answers ranged everywhere from “Solo Dates” and rage rooms to writing poetry and more.
Benefits of no contact
There are so many benefits to going no-contact after a relationship has ended. Speaking from personal experience, it allows you to become familiar with yourself again and find peace in solitude. I believe it facilitates the most healing and growth after a relationship ends. At first, it is hard, and you feel some immense feelings. However, over time, you get stronger, and everything gets easier.
Maintaining no contact can be difficult at first, but it also shows perseverance when faced with adversity. While some often find themselves reminiscing about past relationships, focusing on yourself should be the top priority. With this, one can prioritize other things including hobbies, friends, family, work, or school.
While this may be hard to admit, a relationship often clouds one’s judgment. This can be done in many ways, including, their judgment of who the person is. Even one’s judgment of their relationship with that person. Frequently, people find themselves confused, sad, and heartbroken after a breakup. Although your clouded judgment may make getting over your ex difficult, it is essential to keep a distance.
A person goes through a plethora of emotions during a breakup, ranging from anger to sadness. Some people may continuously question their relationship or even themselves as to why things ended as they did. The best way to handle these emotions and the confusion is to focus on what makes you happy. This will also help prevent returning to the cycle you first fell into during the initial breakup.
Let’s not just take my word for it; in an article published by girlhasamind.com, the author discusses the ten benefits of the no-contact rule. Among these benefits is that no contact helps move the healing process along. Moreover, it allows you to reconnect with yourself and loved ones and you can then see the relationship and person from a different perspective.
The no-contact rule allows you to see the person and relationship for what it is. Often, when staying in contact with your ex after the breakup, it is hard to take them off the pedestal we created for them in our minds.
No contact survey responses
As previously mentioned, I have conducted a few surveys on social media and did some other research just to see all the ways people keep from breaking the no-contact rule. The results I found were smart, funny, and sound better than texting an ex. The question that I posed for these surveys is, “What is something you do instead of texting your ex?”
Of course, many responses said the best way to maintain no contact is to keep them blocked on every social media platform and remove or block their number as well. This is a personal favorite of mine because “out of sight, out of mind” is right when it comes to no contact.
However, there was also a myriad of responses that had different approaches, such as: “Think of all of the horrible things they did to you and only think of the bad qualities about them”, “Imagine their smug face laughing when they see your name pop up,” or “think of the reason that you finally broke up with them.”
One user went as far as to suggest, “Make their contact picture the reason you broke up.” Another user suggests that you “change their contact name to the biggest ick that they ever gave you.” Even if an ex-partner never gave you an ick, or you cannot think of one while you are trying to handle the breakup, it is best to delete them and disregard who they were to you. Looking back at past messages will throw you back into the same loop of loneliness and heartbreak. Then, you may find yourself yearning for someone who does not care about you anymore.
Moreover, several users responded with advice and other tips like “journaling and reaching out to friends,” “reaching out to your parents or other loved ones,” “crocheting,” or “going out for a walk to get coffee.”
A pattern in these responses is the need to remember why the relationship ended. You may need to disconnect from the internet to reconnect with the people in your life. The people who love you, care for you and make you feel grounded.
Additionally, reaching out to friends and family for comfort and quality time will pull you out of the mindset of emphasizing romantic love over self-love, familial, or platonic love. As you go from being with someone or talking to someone every day to losing all of that, maintaining no contact may be difficult. However, talking with friends and family can help you rediscover your worth or help you focus on yourself. Personally, the time I spend with my close loved ones or myself has been more fun, rich, and full of love than most of my past relationships.
Finding support in your community
One of the best ways to keep yourself from reaching out to an ex is to imagine what all your friends and family would think. It’s not such a fun and pretty picture, is it? Furthermore, just imagine the ick you would get having to explain that YOU reached out to THEM.
All in all, the relationship ended, and this person became your ex for a reason. The treatment your ex gave you was beneath what you deserved. Moving back into their DMs will change that nor the person that they were to you. When you are feeling lonely, make time for the people in your life who have loved and cared for you consistently, including yourself.
