In an era when everything you need and want can be delivered straight to your door in one click, when you have hours of engaging content, all neatly packaged into 30-second reels, a multitude of platforms to stream TV show after TV show, drama, reality. Whatever you desire, you can have it so easily. Yet why does it never feel good?
Finding fulfillment in life isn’t about having everything you could want all at once. It’s about prioritizing wellness to achieve a greater sense of satisfaction. Unfortunately, it is becoming easier to slip into the temptation of instant gratification, which ultimately drains you – mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Recipe for instant gratification and happiness
Instant gratification is a quick hit of “happiness” or dopamine stimulated by a rewarding action. It can come across as a wave of irresistible craving to take something, anything, simply because it is there and it is easy . Whether that’s fast food, over home-cooked meals, binge eating, or binge-watching a show, or even serious cases like substance abuse.
Dr. Ritu Goel (founder of MIND Claire, which combines traditional psychiatry and holistic healing) helps explain instant gratification from a psychiatrist’s point of view. She reassures that the desire for immediate pleasure is not a character flaw – “it’s biology.”
And, in this modern age, it is actively being exploited.
Online shopping is a clear example. You’re confronted (all at once) with a huge accumulation of everything you could want. You see what you like. You click. It arrives the next day.” That moment of purchase gives a real dopamine rush before the item arrives,” Dr. Goel explains.
Social media brings an irresistible cycle of instant gratification, playing on feelings of inadequacy and attainment. Instagram, for example, can be a world of perfection, perfect houses, perfect bodies, perfect jobs, perfect lives, perfect, perfect… “Each scroll intensifies the feeling that you’re falling behind, that you lack something, and you need something immediately to close the gap,” Dr. Goel says.
So, what do you do? “Seek relief, scroll, shop, snack,” a brief sense of improvement until the next hit.
“It’s a cycle that’s very tough to break because it’s designed to be that way.”
Dr. Ritu Goel
Trickery of instant dopamine
A rush of instant dopamine can ultimately “lead to a cycle of dependency…creating anxiety, restlessness and dissatisfaction,” as you’re constantly seeking the next “hit” instead of enjoying, savoring a moment of pleasure.
Mentally, Dr. Goel noticed that instant gratification leads to “a decreased tolerance for discomfort.
“When the brain has been conditioned to expect quick relief, anything that requires patience begins to feel truly unbearable.”
So, what happens?
A decreased attention span, losing focus, and a lack of motivation to commit to anything that truly matters – those long-term goals.
Physically, that chase for instant gratification can drain you. Poor sleep, blood sugar instability (from stress eating), and chronic fatigue.
“In everyday life, I notice it as a constant sense of being busy yet empty inside,” Dr. Goel states.
“The gap between activity and meaning is where instant gratification exists.”
Dr. Ritu Goel
According to Dr. Goel’s observations, most of their patients aren’t in crisis; “they’re simply disconnected from themselves, from what they truly want, and from the people they care about.”
Feeling good…later?
Fulfillment, however, doesn’t strike you suddenly. It is a journey towards personal growth through small, daily actions that reflect what really matters, such as your values and relationships.
Overall, fulfillment is described as a feeling of satisfaction or happiness in life. For example, Aristotle, yes, the philosopher, described what we understand as fulfillment, as “eudaimonia” – human flourishing. It exists in a higher state than simple happiness or pleasure. It’s desirable as an end (a feeling) rather than as an action towards an end.
Fulfillment is a slow process, and you have to actively build on it- facing the discomfort.
Working for satisfaction
You won’t necessarily feel good straight away. That’s the main problem many people have. It’s not instant pleasure, you have to work for it – like revising for an exam, or making a homemade meal. The process is difficult (and annoying), but the outcome feels good. You get a good grade, and you actually feel satisfied after eating.
“Every time you face a tougher challenge and get through it, you prove something to yourself,” Dr. Goel encourages, “gradually, your identity begins to change from reacting to changing.”
It is in the effort of creating something or growing and developing yourself that you will feel fulfilled, because the effort you put in was worth the outcome.
If it is not easy or immediate, like instant gratification, it can be difficult to imagine the benefits or even wonder why you should aim for fulfillment. You have to trust that you will feel better physically and mentally. You will have pride in yourself and your actions, a constant second voice saying, “You did well, and you should be proud.”
Aiming for fulfillment can:
- Provide a sense of meaning and purpose, a motivation to spur you on every day.
- Increase happiness and improve your mental health.
- Improve your physical health – it can literally affect your mortality; decrease the risk of high blood pressure and cortisol.
Finding fulfillment
Fulfillment can be achieved through self-care, prioritizing your mental, physical, and emotional health. It can seem overwhelming to aim for satisfaction in life, but really, it can start with making a few better choices…the basics.
Sleep. Simple. Going to bed when you’re tired, getting the recommended amount (usually seven to nine hours), and waking up. Not snoozing. Not oversleeping (no matter how good it feels). Not procrastinating sleep (no matter how good a show is). Putting the phone down. Resting.
This can be the first step in feeling fulfilled and reaching your potential. It sets the precedent for your entire day.
Physically, not getting enough sleep can increase the risk of high blood pressure and blood sugar levels. Mentally, your mood levels can be seriously affected, possibly leading to anxiety and depression, as well as poor concentration and memory retention.
Food. Resisting the ease of fast food, instant delivery, and snacking over rounded meals. It cannot be stressed how much eating well can positively affect your mental and physical health. And, by purposely cooking a meal, you will have to work for that outcome. Fulfillment is all about the effort. But hey, don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Just choose a good hearty selection: carbs, protein, and vegetables.
Limit alcohol. “Alcohol is one of the most normalized instant gratification shortcuts there is,” Dr. Goel warns, “and one of the most destructive to mood and emotional regulation.”
Dancing, running, walking, yoga, jogging, D.Goel recommends movement you enjoy, anything you can look forward to. It can be messy, it can be unformed. It just needs to be fun.
Relationships, forming real connections, not through text, but making time to see others face-to-face, are key to finding fulfillment. Social bonds can improve your mental and emotional health. It can mitigate stress levels, which can directly affect your physical well-being.
A hobby with growth or learning – such as a sport, learning an instrument, knitting, crocheting, or gardening. A creative activity you can throw yourself into and see improvement from is highly recommended, “the frustration is a part of the process,” Dr. Goel reassures, “and so is the reward.”
Pause, literally, time taken not to do anything. No cooking, scrolling, cleaning, or watching, anything. Just a quiet time to either journal or do breathwork. Just sitting in silence, letting your mind rest.
True wellness – prioritizing your emotional, physical, and mental health- takes time, patience, and effort. As hard as it can be, we all deserve to grow, develop, and flourish. That feeling of fulfillment in the end will be worth it. I promise.
