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One Man’s Biting Obituary of His Dead Mother

Sometimes, obituaries aren’t what we were expecting.

Credit: Elliott Brown/Flickr

Typically, an obituary is no laughing matter. It’s a place to remember, reflect, and often to celebrate a life no longer with us. Yet, sometimes, people take a moment to laugh–to laugh about the good memories, the celebrations, about it all, about a life well-lived. 

Yet, sometimes, it’s a great place to tell it like it is: to dry out the sweaty socks, for want of a better phrase.

“A plus-sized Jewish lady redneck died in El Paso on Saturday,” the obituary starts. Of course, a gasp is duly required. “…the bawdy, fertile, redheaded matriarch of a sprawling Jewish-Mexican-Redneck American family has kicked it.”

No turns of phrase were spared in this ripping obituary, which reads much like a jovial, satirical character assassination. 

“The death of zaftig good-time gal Renay Corren at the impossible old age of 84 is newsworthy to me, and I treat it with the same respect and reverence she had for, well, nothing. A more disrespectful, trash-reading, talking and watching woman in NC, FL or TX was not to be found,” Randy Corren, who wrote the obituary, detailed.

Randy, Renay’s son, wasted no time in telling the world what he really thought about his deceased mother. 

To round things off, a service in loving (or not?) memory of Renay’s death was to be held, and here’s how Randy described it: “There will be a very disrespectful and totally non-denominational memorial on May 10, 2022, most likely at a bowling alley in Fayetteville, NC.”

And yet, in the end, Randy wanted to wrap up his neatly manicured final gift to his mother as the satirical, jarring bit of literature that it was: “Please think of the brightly-frocked, frivolous, funny and smart Jewish redhead who is about to grift you, tell you a filthy joke, and for Larry King’s sake: LAUGH. Bye, Mommy. We loved you to bits.”

This, right here, might be just the reminder you need to (how does the old adage go?): treat others how you want to be treated.

Live wisely, and fearfully, all!

Enjoyed this one? Check out one like this: Fidel Castro Outlived His Obituary Writer, He’s Invincible!

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