Dear Miss Amanda has been a long time dream of mine as a younger millennial. Growing up all I wanted to do was write a column, I mean it was the dream job on most movies and TV shows of my era.
Writing has always been a passion of mine and so has psychology which is my major. I really just want to help others, and offer wisdom through my own mistakes, whether that be through being a therapist or offering advice here in my own column.
So, I am ready for you to ask away! I have been through it all, or at least seen it through friends, when it comes to love, friendships, school, work, career and even starting over your life.
Q: Dear Miss Amanda, Is it okay to not want a “dream job”? I just can’t find something that sparks that fire. – Danielle
A: Hey Danielle! I have noticed more so in recent years that people just simply do not want to work. Not in the lazy sense, or in the way Kim K famously stated, but that if people had the option their dream job would be: no job. So, it’s definitely okay not to want one! You’re not alone in that. I have always told my friends, and myself, you don’t need to love your job, but you shouldn’t hate it either. Find something that meets your needs. A job that fits the schedule you want to have, can pay for the lifestyle you want and doesn’t make you dread getting out of bed every morning.
Using TikTok can help you find some ideas for jobs. Simply search “lazy jobs” and see if anything fits your needs and experience!
Q: Dear Miss Amanda, How do I move on from someone I was never officially dating? It was short lived, but I really caught feelings, and they’ve moved on. – Avery
A: Hey Avery! It’s never easy to move on from someone you really liked and clicked with – labels or no labels. The best you can do is cut ties so you don’t have to see them with someone else. Unfollow them on everything, ignorance is bliss! Then remember that they were not your person. If someone wants to make it work with you, they will label it and make the effort. That someone is out there and waiting for you! Just keep being you and love will fall into place.
Q: Dear Miss Amanda, how do I stop doom-scrolling but still stay in the loop? I like to be up to date on everything but honestly I find myself always on my phone and not being productive. What do I do? – Blake
A: Hey Blake! Speaking as someone who has been chronically online way before that was even a term, I understand this dilemma. Sometimes I even find myself wanting to just zone out and scroll instead of being productive. Life is just overwhelming sometimes. However, it can get out of hand. Since I write , it’s kind of my job to be up to date on all things trending, so I just make sure I schedule times to be on my phone. Even setting a timer helps so instead of four hours toggling between TikTok and Insta, maybe do 30 minutes for each then proceed to do what is on your to-do list.
I also recommend following people and brands that keep you in the loop so it’s some of the first things you see and you are not spending so much time trying to see all the latest trends and hot topics. Basically simplify your algorithm.
Q: Dear Miss Amanda, how do I stop comparing my life to people on TikTok? I feel like social media just makes me feel so behind in life. – Olivia
A: Hey Olivia! As the old saying goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. Something I learned over my twenties is that if I feel like I am comparing myself to someone, or jealous of them, why do I feel that way? Figure out what it is you’re seeing from them that you want, and figure out how to get it yourself.
Also no one is ever behind. I know people in their 50’s that started over in new careers and made new lives for themselves. I started at 30! Everyone’s timeline is their own. All you can do is make decisions that help future you in some way. Don’t forget that there is only one you!
Q: Dear Miss Amanda, how do I actually start a morning routine without giving up after 2 days? – Luna
A: Hey Luna! Starting a new routine can be hard, but you can stick to it! Research suggests that to form a habit it takes between 18 to 254 days. So repetition is key, and so is starting small. Depending on how much you’re trying to put in this outline, start little. When you wake up, don’t look at your phone. Get out of bed, and go to your first task. Is it working out? Eating? A shower and luxurious skincare routine? Figure out what is easiest to start with and begin there. After a week or so you can start to add in more steps. Before you know it, it will become second nature.
Just never start with your phone! You’ll never want to leave your bed.
Q: Dear Miss Amanda, I am struggling to find a job. Where do I start? – Sophia
A: Hey Sophia! It’s no secret that the job market is awful for everyone out there right now. That being said, do not stress. You will find something! I find that sites like Indeed aren’t great as there are a ton of scams and ghost jobs posted. I had better luck by going through my school where the jobs posted are usually vetted. Depending if you want to work remotely or not, FlexJobs has a ton of variety of jobs that actually get back to you. It does cost money, but I find that it is worth it. Another way I found work is by going to the website of the company I want to work for.
I recommend not being picky, but just get your foot in the door. You can always work your way up. Get that experience on your resume and never stop looking until you find something you like doing.
Hopefully this advice helped some of you reading as well! I’d love to bring this column back, and get into more detailed situations. If you want a question answered and featured here, reach out via my Instagram. I have so much more to share and I am ready to listen and help!
Love Always,
Miss Amanda
