Image Via: CBC News
A man walks into a hotel room…what’s the punchline?
A flock of seagulls eats all his pepperoni and destroys the room so bad he gets banned. Wait, that actually happened! According to Huffington Post, in 2001 man named Nick Burchill checked into the Fairmont Empress Hotel in Victoria, British Columbia for a business meeting. He had also planned to meet up with some former Navy buddies during the trip so he brought a special treat, Brothers TNT Pepperoni. Brothers is a delightful indulgence located in Burchill’s hometown Halifax, Nova Scotia.
So he checks into his room, hauls up his suitcases filled with the meaty treat, and finds that there is no refrigerator to keep it in. What is a man in this situation to do? Why leave it on the table by the open window of course! Bad idea Nick, bad idea. The seagulls had ample time to get in and eat the pepperoni because Nick went out for a walk.
I remember walking down the long hall and opening the door to my room to find an entire flock of seagulls in my room. I didn’t have time to count, but there must have been 40 of them and they had been in my room, eating pepperoni for a long time.
In case you were wondering, Brothers’ TNT Pepperoni does NASTY things to a seagull’s digestive system. As you would expect, the room was covered in seagull crap. What I did not realize until then was that Seagulls also drool. Especially when they eat pepperoni.
So the birds were just chillin’ inside the room, enjoying the grub. Until Nick walked in and startled them. That’s when shit really hit the fan…literally.
The result was a tornado of seagull excrement, feathers, pepperoni chunks and fairly large birds whipping around the room. The lamps were falling. The curtains were trashed. The coffee tray was just disgusting.
Who wants to be on the other end of that call to housekeeping? Not me.
I can still remember the look on the lady’s face when she opened the door. I had absolutely no Idea what to tell her, so I just said “I’m sorry” and I went to dinner. When I came back, my things had been moved to a much smaller room.
Shortly after this horrific stay, Burchill’s employer received a note from the hotel saying he had been banned for life. Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. I probably would have even booked him somewhere else at the time of the incident and sent him packing. Not in my hotel you don’t! Then again, it’s not like he purposefully called the birds into his room.
Fast forward to March 2018, Burchill has requested a pardon. “This may seem like and unusual request, but I write to you today, seeking a ‘pardon.'” After an in person visit, that included a bribe of Brothers TNT Pepperoni, the hotel granted his pardon. He is encouraged to stay with the Fairmont now, and has even befriended one of the managers. You can check out his full story below.
Like animals gone wild? Check this out.
